


Surfacing I thru XV (1/2)

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-15
Updated: 2002-01-15
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:49:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Having saved Jamie from the Cult of Azathoth, Mulder is determined to win back his first love.





	Surfacing I thru XV (1/2)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Surfacing by Chad Moore

TITLE: Surfacing  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: October 9th, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum.  
E-MAIL:   
FEEDBACK: Please! Always welcome!  
RATING: PG (Chapter 1)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst  
SUMMARY: Having saved Jamie from the Cult of Azathoth, Mulder is determined to win back his first love.  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination.  
SPECIAL THANKS: To Bertina and Michele. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you.  
DEDICATION: For Neige and Vyper

* * *

"Just one step at a time and closer to destiny..."

=====

Chapter One: Against The Tide

"Come on, Jamie, jump! It's a piece of cake."

Peril stood in her way-too-tight pink top, and way-too-tight matching miniskirt (but hey, the Pat Benatar look was in and that's what guys seemed to like) staring up at the roof.

Jamie peered uncertainly out of the high bedroom window as the warm summer night air blasted his face. Soon his shadowy figure clambered onto the roof tiles, making his way down. Suddenly Jamie gave a little "whoop" and Peril could hear his shoes scraping.

"Jamie, for pete's sake, be careful!" she hissed.

Hopefully the noise had not woken Grams. Especially if they ever hoped to make it to the club in one piece. Jamie was three years younger and needed to be brought out of his shell. He was all go for adventure but it had taken quite a bit of persuading on Peril's part to get him to go with her.

She had strategically planned this weekend with her cousin. Their last bit of fun before he went off to college, or university as he kept correcting her.

As Grams often told her, she more than lived up to her name, especially with her rather large rebellious streak. Thankfully, this had rubbed off on Jamie. Combined with his own natural feisty demeanour, he would be a match to be reckoned with.

Sliding down the tiles, Jamie landed in an undignified heap beside her. Peril laughed. She couldn't help it. He looked so cute sprawled on the ground.

Helping him up, she smiled. "Ready for some fun?"

He smiled back. "I'm ready for anything."

That happy time seemed like a million years ago.

Peril jogged down the clinical white corridors, a concerned, worried frown creasing her beautiful features. The telephone conversation with Aunt Janine had left her shocked and perplexed. Grams had been right, insisting all these years that Jamie was still alive.

An hour ago Peril's phone rang. Janine was taking the first flight out. Peril was the closest. A man named Fox Mulder (why did that name sound so familiar?) had found Jamie and they had been taken to San Francisco Memorial. Jamie, her favorite cousin -- so young and handsome and bright -- assumed dead, now miraculously resurrected after eighteen years. Within minutes of the call, Peril left her Bodega Bay apartment en route to the hospital emergency room.

Bursting through a set of metallic blue doors and into the emergency room, Peril pushed past a gurney, and flock of nurses, running to the front desk.

"Hi!" she said breathlessly, leaning over the counter.

The desk attendant seemed more absorbed in the text on her computer screen than Peril Bellamy's insistent voice.

"Uh, nursey!" Peril slammed her palm down, finally gaining her attention. "Hi! Can you tell me where I can find my cousin?"

"What's your cousin's name?" asked the desk attendant, as if she were exhausted by the effort of speaking.

"James, Jamie Grayson."

The nurse glanced down at a clipboard. "Dr. Scully will see you in a few moments. Please have a seat in the waiting room."

"Why can't I see Jamie now?"

"I'm sure the doctor will be able to answer all of your questions." Her tone was dismissive. "If you'll have a seat I'll page her."

"Ok, thanks."

The attendant swiveled in her chair. Peril made a face at her back then began her search for the waiting room.

*****

Walter Skinner sat in a small, air conditioned room surrounded by plastic plants, prehistoric back issues, and colorful Matisse paintings intended to soothe.

He wondered how much longer the wait would be. He had to be getting back to D.C. soon. Luckily he'd been able to take over the police inquiries and help explain why Avatar exploded in the blink of an eye.

Thinking of the explosion, he sat forward and examined the bandage on his right forearm. It had been burnt badly during his flight with Krycek. Skinner had managed to haul him out of the building just as it went up like a Roman candle.

Alex Krycek. He shook his head, marvelling at the irony of it all. Several months ago he'd shot the psychopathic double-agent dead in a parking garage. That turned out to be a clone. Just a few days ago he'd grabbed Krycek by the scruff of the neck and saved his life. Mulder would classify that action as an X-File in itself. Yeah, Walter thought, especially if he knew...

He was startled from his thoughts when a very attractive young woman walked inside the waiting room. She sat down with a heavy sigh. She looked so upset that Walter moved closer to her.

"Miss? Are you sick?"

Peril gave him a half-smile. "No, I'm not sick."

Something was wrong, because she looked so sad. "Is it a family member?"

She nodded. "My cousin's here and they don't know what's wrong with him."

"I'm waiting to hear about a friend of mine, too."

"What is your name?"

"Walter."

"Well, hello, Walter. I'm Peril."

Walter smiled. "That's an unusual name."

"Yeah, I'm told I live up to it."

They turned their heads as a doctor, followed by a trio of medical students, walked inside the waiting room. Dr. Walker stopped before Peril.

"Peril Bellamy?"

Peril stood up. "Yes?"

"I'm Dr. Michael Walker. I'm consulting on your cousin's case."

"Hi." As she made to follow the doctor, she turned back to Walter. "Bye, it was nice to meet you. I hope everything works out with your friend."

Walter watched the woman hurry after the group. Then he gazed down at his watch. Maybe 'his friend' would be ready now.

Out in the bustling hall, Peril caught up with Dr. Walker. "Um, where's Dr. Scully?" she questioned.

"She's with your cousin now."

Peril stared back at the young students following like goslings. "Who are they?"

"They're studying under the same specialist field."

"Specialist?" Peril froze. The details of Jamie's condition were sketchy. She didn't realize it was this bad. "Wait!"

*****

With a soft chime, the elevator doors opened. Dana Scully emerged and headed deeper into the catacomb corridors of the intensive care unit.

She wiped a little tear from the corner of her eye. She'd just finished a telephone conversation with her mother -the tenth one in the last few hours- just to hear William's gurgling voice.

She hated being separated from him for this long, but she'd made a promise to herself and Mulder to remain long enough to see to Jamie's care.

Although the destruction of Avatar had only been a couple of days ago, it seemed like a lifetime now.

Mulder had managed to pull her out of the exploding research facility in the nick of time. She'd sustained a few minor cuts and bruises. To be honest, she remembered very little except for the dust and debris falling all around.

Despite the danger, they had succeeded in their mission. Jamie, Mulder's first love, who had been possessed by an evil no one could truly comprehend, was rescued and freed -thanks to Mulder's great courage. However, Jamie remained in critical condition and Scully was feeling more and more worried.

Jamie had not stirred once. His tests all came back inconclusive.

Suddenly she turned a corner leading to a small treatment room. Dana gently pushed open the door and was not shocked or surprised to find Mulder's ever present figure sitting beside Jamie's hospital bed. His eyes remained fixed on his comatose form lying flat on a wide bed, IV tubes snaking up from Jamie's arms, an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth.

The cool air was filled with the sound of humming machinery, and the steady bleeping of a heart monitor.

This had become his home ever since they arrived. Keeping vigil for countless hours, regailing the unconscious Jamie with stories. At the moment he was recounting one of their early X-Files.

"Then I told Scully it would be a nice trip to the woods," he was saying.

"Morning," she said, approaching the bed. "Don't tell me you haven't been to sleep yet."

Mulder, tousled and unshaven, barely looked up to register her presence.

"All right, I won't tell you," he replied, in an attempt at his usual dry humor. "I don't wanna leave him, in case he wakes up."

"Mulder, you have to take care of yourself, too. It won't do him any good if you have to be admitted as well."

Squeezing Jamie's hand, Mulder looked up at her. His eyes looked haunted. "It's like he's sleeping. I just can't wake him up."

Dana moved to his side, running a comforting hand across his tense shoulders. "I promise you we're doing everything we can."

The sound of Jamie's slow, pained breathing filled the silence as Mulder gazed at him.

"You know he always said that we were meant to be together."

"Fate, Mulder?"

In all the time she'd known him, Dana's best friend was obsessively passionate. This romantic side was something new.

"Fate?" He pursed his lips and pondered the word. "Never heard of it."

She smiled warmly, knowing better.

Approaching voices caught their attention. Scully glanced up as Dr. Walker and his students walked in, with a concerned woman about her own age.

Peril gasped at the sight before her. Jamie! Unconscious, his breathing labored, but alive. She was too stunned to even talk when a shortish, red-headed woman in a doctor's coat walked toward her.

"Are you the doctor?" she asked, anxious to get a closer look.

Dana shook her hand. "Yes, I'm Dana Scully and-" She turned to find Dr. Walker and his students moving in to examine Jamie. Mulder reluctantly stood up and came toward them. "This is Fox Mulder."

Peril peered at the approaching, disshevelled man. "You're the guy who found my cousin?"

Mulder simply nodded.

"He's going to be okay, right?" she asked Scully. "This isn't life threatening..."

Dana saw the hope in her eyes. The same hope reflected in Mulder's. "Jamie's body is recovering from a massive shock," she explained. "We're treating him as best we can. We'll know more after we've run more tests, which I really need to see about." She turned. "Mulder, why don't you rest in the waiting room with..."

"Peril."

"Peril and relax, okay?"

With a longing look at the still figure hovered over by white coats, Mulder walked out into the hall with Peril.

As soon as they left the room, Peril exploded. "How did this happen?" she asked, gripping Mulder's arm. "Jamie's been missing all these years without a single word..."

"It's not his fault," Mulder was quick to defend.

"Tell me the truth," Peril said. "He's going to be all right, isn't he?"

Mulder shook his weary head. "They really don't know anything," he admitted.

They passed into the little waiting area. Peril noticed that the surly man with the wire-rims had departed. She sat back down and started flipping through a well-thumbed Cosmo.

Mulder made his way to a nearby vending machine, buying himself a bag of nachos and a coke. Scully would have his hide if he didn't eat something.

Gripping her trembling hands, Peril watched him as he sat down next to her. She still couldn't believe it. Jamie, alive. There was something in Mulder's deep, hazel eyes that tugged at her heart. Something that told her he obviously cared a great deal for her cousin.

"He's going to be fine," she said, comforting both herself and him.

"It's just that after everything I've seen -and believe me, I've seen some scary stuff- it takes a lot to scare me," Mulder sighed, sadly. "This time, I'm really scared."

She blinked as a light of recognition went on in her head. "So you and my cousin were..."

"Lovers, yes," Mulder finished.

Now Peril knew why she recognized his name! This was Jamie's roomate when he went to Oxford. He talked about Mulder in his letters just before his disappearance. She had a trillion questions! But one thought stood out more: Aunt Janine's reaction to all this.

Well, she'd cross that bridge when her aunt arrived.

She peered closely at the man beside her. Yes, she could definitely imagine Jamie falling for him. He was extremely good-looking, not exactly her type. He was probably a little too smart for his own good, but the nose suggested that his brain wasn't the only endowed body part. As soon as Jamie woke up, they'd have to have a little talk... And he would wake up.

Mulder took a sip of his coke, licking away the fizzing residue from his bottom lip. "It's bad enough that things are always biting me in the ass," he muttered angrily, half to himself. "This should've never happened to him."

Not for the first time, Peril wondered exactly what HAD happened. "He's not going to give up," she stated, confidently. "Jamie was always a fighter."

"I know," Mulder replied, quietly.

*****

Walter had traded one waiting area for another. He sat outside a little hospital room listening as a doctor prescribed some pain killers for Krycek.

The Russian had come out of it the worse of the four. With a concussion and a set of broken ribs. He'd risked his life to help save Jamie and stop Avatar's plans. Walter had gotten in some visiting time with Krycek while helping with the investigation.

Walter could tell he really liked him. More than he would have thought possible. The "real" Alex Krycek -the person, not the rat bastard- was a surprise. There was just something about him...

At that moment, Krycek stepped out of the room and could not hide the surprise on his face.

"You okay?" Walter asked, standing up.

Alex shrugged nonchalantly. "Yeah, I'll live. The doctor gave me a clean bill of health."

"Good," Walter replied, gruffly. "How are you dealing?"

"Like I said-"

"That's not what I meant."

It may have been the morphine, but one evening Krycek confided his doubts. He was having a hard time dealing being seduced and initiated into a demonic cult, and used by a supernatural spirit.

Alex understood his meaning and shied away. "I don't know," he admitted.

"You've gotta give it some time."

They started to walk. Alex kept an arm wrapped around his bandaged ribs, and Walter noticed his usual jaunty stride was missing. Krycek kept his eyes straight ahead, but he was very glad of Skinner's company.

He sighed. "Jamie was completely taken over by evil and he fought it every step of the way."

"What you did was a big thing."

Alex looked up and smiled. A compliment from the AD! If he didn't know better he was still knocked out from the medication.

They paused outside of a waiting room. Walter caught a glimpse of Mulder talking with Peril, the woman he'd met earlier.

Mulder was becoming restless. "How long do tests take, anyway?"

"Well, the doctor didn't seem too worried," Peril lied.

"Yeah, I know." Mulder blew out his breath, frustrated. "I just want to stay with him."

Walter cleared his throat and stepped inside the room. "Any news?" he asked.

Mulder stood up and shook his head. "None. Scully's running tests with the specialist she brought in." His voice trailed away when Krycek appeared. "What the hell is he still doing here?"

"I'm not going anywhere until I know Jamie's all right," Alex snapped.

Peril felt her heart flip in her chest at the impossibly beautiful man.

Before Mulder could lash out further, he felt a very insistent elbow nudging into him. Peril stared at Krycek flirtatiously.

"Oh, this is Jamie's cousin, Peril," he said, ignoring Krycek and addressing Walter.

"Hi!" She waved and winked. He looks like a cover model for a romance novel, she thought.

"You're Jamie's cousin?" Walter echoed. "Small world."

"We met earlier," she told an incredulous Mulder.

"Peril, would you give us a few moments alone?" Skinner asked.

"Um, sure."

He watched her slide past Alex with a cocky little grin. Poor girl. She was awestruck by him. As soon as the door closed, he turned to Mulder and Krycek.

"Okay, you two," he growled.

Alex folded his arms and stared hard at Mulder. "Thanks, Alex," he spat out, his voice heavy with sarcasm. "Thanks for taking care of Jamie and stopping the world from ending."

Mulder's mouth fell open. Trust Krycek to expect gratitude when Jamie was so ill. "Thank you?" he shouted, then dropped his voice. "I don't believe you! None of this would have happened if you'd just told us the truth!"

"Any more of your lip and you'll get a fat one!"

Walter sighed and rolled his eyes heavenwards. "Looks like everything's back to normal."

Suddenly the door opened to reveal Peril's distressed face. "You'd better come quick!" she told them.

Mulder rushed down the hallway, his heart thumping, his face tingling. Fear gripped him at the sight of the doctors and nurses running into Jamie's room. These are the last seconds, he thought, of being able to pretend everything is all right.

Standing at the door, he frantically called to Scully. "What's happening? What's wrong?"

"We're not moving from this spot until we find out," Walter's firm voice said behind him.

Dana moved forward. Swallowing, she said sadly, "Mulder, I'm sorry. His condition has worsened."

"What can I -what do you do now?"

"There's nothing more we can do."

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked a desperate Peril.

"Either Jamie pulls out of the coma on his own... or I'm afraid he's not going to make it."

Peril started crying.

Through glittering eyes, Mulder stared across the room at Jamie, clinging to life by a thread.

[Next Episode: Is Your Love Strong Enough?]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: October 10th, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum.  
E-MAIL:   
RATING: PG (Chapter 2)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination.  
BETA THANKS: To Bertina for support.  
SPECIAL THANKS: To Michele for encouragement.  
DEDICATION: For Neige and Vyper

* * *

Chapter Two: Lost Treasure

Gracefully, a jet glided down to San Francisco International Airport, its slipstream ruffling the grass along the runway.

Within the hectic concourse Peril watched passengers reuniting with loved ones through numb eyes. She had not stopped crying until she reached the airport. Jamie was back in her life, but now he was slowly slipping away. Her heart also bled for Fox Mulder, who looked as if he'd been kicked in the stomach.

She glanced up at an information monitor, cursing the same message:

Flight originating from Atlanta, GA delayed

What was she going to tell Aunt Janine when she finally arrived?

*****

An exhausted Scully leaned against the frame of the treatment room door. She felt completely and utterly helpless, having done everything medically possible to speed Jamie's recovery. Neither she nor Dr. Walker understood why his condition had deteriorated. The shocking turn of events had left her reeling. Right now Mulder was doing the best thing for him. Across the room she could hear his words of comfort.

"You're going to be fine. You're going to pull through this."

Mulder clasping his still hand, and begging him to hang on, broke Dana's heart. It was all so unfair. For Mulder to have risked so much... With a heavy sigh, she moved away and down the hall.

She swept past the waiting room and glanced inside. Skinner sat talking with Krycek, who paced like a caged tiger. The two former enemies had struck up a friendship. Dana often wondered exactly what had happened to change the animosity between them. She hurried along to consult with her colleague.

In a burst of anger Alex kicked a wastepaper basket, and immediately regretted it. Wincing, he clutched at his aching ribs.

Instantly, Walter was by his side. "Hey, you're going to have to take it easy," he admonished.

"He's been through a lot and for this to happen," Krycek began, then let his voice trail away.

Walter understood the frustration he felt. The pair had spent a great deal of time together, and the former double-agent had grown to care about him.

"There's a limit to how much a person can take, believe me." He thought back with disgust at striking the Faustian deal with Avatar. "A lot has happened to me in the past year and a half. It's changed me. It's made me wanna make changes."

"So what are you gonna do?"

"I don't know. Just take some time. Figure it out. Look, I had a little wake up call and I realize that life is too short to be wasting my time doing something I really don't wanna be doing."

"Krycek," Walter said, indicating the empty chairs. "Alex, come here. There's something I want to talk to you about."

*****

Mulder held Jamie's cold hand close against his chest, willing him to feel just one heartbeat. Was he asking too much? He reached out and soothingly brushed back stray locks of hair from Jamie's face. He could no longer fight the tears, the emotions burst forth from the cracked dam.

"I love you, Jamie," he said, his voice breaking. "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

Leaning forward, he pressed his trembling lips gently against Jamie's forehead.

"Please don't leave me," Mulder desperately pleaded. "So much has happened to us, so much time lost. You will always be a part of me, forever."

He drew his warm breath close to Jamie. "Can you hear me? I love you, Jamie. Please hear me."

Mulder sat back, weeping freely, his body shaking with sobs. A tear trailed down his cheek, falling on Jamie's hand.

Slowly, Jamie's index finger twitched into life. Mulder looked up, his eyes glistening with hope.

"Jamie?"

Suddenly, Jamie gasped aloud and coughed against the oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth.

"Oh, Jamie!" Mulder exclaimed through an ocean of joyous tears. "Thank God!"

Jamie pulled the mask away and gazed up at him. "Mulder?" he said, hoarsely.

"Are you okay?" Mulder caressed his cheek, then leaned forward to warmly embrace him.

At the same time, Dr. Walker came rushing inside. "When did this happen?" he asked, moving close to examine his patient. "Mr. Grayson, are you feeling all right?"

Dana and two other nurses hurried into the room. "Mulder, is he-" She froze in her tracks, seeing Jamie awake. "Oh my God, he's okay?!"

"Yes, he's okay," Mulder said with a surge of relief.

"Mulder," whispered Jamie, disoriented.

Mulder kissed and hugged him. Dana moved up and, taking Mulder by the arm, pulled him gently away so that the nurses could do their work. She hugged Mulder tightly, and he squeezed back.

"This is incredible!" she cried.

"B.P. 105 over 60. Pulse is strong," a nurse reported.

Dr. Walker was in awe. "All of his vitals are normal. I've never seen anything like it." He quickly turned to the nurse. "Draw some blood. I want to run some comparatives."

"Yes, doctor."

Breaking away, Dana rushed out of the room to share the good news. Both Walter and Krycek stood up the instant she entered the waiting area. She was too excited to notice that the two men had been in the middle of a deep conversation.

"He's awake!" she proclaimed.

"What? That's great," Walter smiled.

"Yeah, we're going to run some tests to confirm a few suspicions."

"Whoa, wait, back up," Alex said. "Jamie's really okay?"

Dana nodded. "Yes. I don't know how Mulder did it, but he brought him back. He's achieved what would've taken specialists weeks. It's a miracle, it really is."

*****

Peril craned her neck, trying to get a first glimpse of her aunt. The flight had finally arrived and the passengers were disembarking at a snail's pace. She was anxious to get back up to the hospital.

She heaved a huge sigh of relief as Janine, elegantly attired in an expensive suede pantsuit, appeared behind the stragglers. Peril squeezed by a couple searching for the luggage claim and rushed toward her.

"Peril," Janine said, giving her niece a hug. "Have you seen him?"

Peril felt a sting of sadness at the news she would have to give her.

"It's true. He's alive, it's just..."

Janine swept her sunglasses up into her blonde tresses and noted the worried statement on her face. "Peril, what is it? Is he all right?"

"Look," she said, awkwardly. "Let's get up to the hospital, fast. I'll tell you about it on the way."

*****

"He's waking up."

Mulder's voice seemed to echo down a long tunnel. Slowly, Jamie's eyes flickered open. Blurred images coalesced into the handsome, smiling features of Fox Mulder. Dazed and weak, Jamie could only gaze up at him.

"Hey, angel," Mulder beamed.

At the foot of his bed Scully folded her arms and smiled back. "How are you feeling?"

Getting his bearings, Jamie inhaled deeply. "A little tired," he replied, weakly. "Which is a good thing." He turned to Mulder and reached for his hand, memories flooding back. "Thank you for-"

"For what? Stabbing you?"

"Yeah." Jamie gave him a faint little grin. "Couldn't think of a better plan, huh?"

Mulder shook his head. "Nope." He leaned forward and kissed Jamie tenderly on the forehead. "I couldn't let you die."

Fighting tears, Jamie swallowed. "I'm very glad you couldn't."

Dana found herself wiping at her eye. A light tap at the door drew their attention away. A sheepish Walter Skinner peeked his head inside.

"Hey, you're awake," he said, walking inside bearing a large white teddy bear with a bouquet of multi-colored balloons attached to its collar.

"Are those for me?" asked Jamie, trying to sit up.

Mulder quickly took an extra pillow to support him as Walter placed the gift on the bedside table. He couldn't get over the change in Jamie. The paleness of his skin had disappeared to be replaced by a rosey hue in his cheeks.

"Jamie, do you remember meeting my best friend?" Mulder asked.

Jamie flashed his green eyes and said with mock-hurt, "I thought I was your best friend."

Dana nodded. "Um-hum, he tells me the same thing."

Mulder flushed with embarrassment. "I've gotta stop telling people they're my best friend."

Walter laughed heartily, and Dana hid her own smile with a slender hand. Meantime, Jamie marveled at the lover he thought he'd never see again.

"I'm not dreaming, am I?" he asked Mulder.

"No, you're not. This is all real," he replied, comfortingly.

Jamie peered around and suddenly asked, "Where's Alex? I wanted to thank him." He saw the looks being exchanged. "He is okay, isn't he?"

Mulder suppressed a twinge of irritation. He reminded himself -as mad as it seemed- that Krycek did help Jamie.

"Yeah," Walter nodded. "He'll be in to see you later."

Jamie scratched his chin absently and looked up at Dana. "Can I leave now? Um, 'cause no offense or anything, but I hate hospitals."

Mulder softly laughed, climbed onto the bed and wrapped Jamie in his arms. He felt Jamie tremble like a leaf from his touch.

"We want to get you up and walking around soon," Scully told him, back in doctor mode. "If you keep progressing so well, maybe in a day or two."

Jamie gave a start of surprise as a shrill ringing filled the room. Immediately he thought something was terribly wrong with the heart monitor. His eyes widened when Walter extracted a small, compact phone from his jacket. Seeing the curious glances around him, Jamie felt what would be the first in a long series of impulses of doubt.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that." He shrugged his shoulders. "Guess I've got a lot to catch up on."

Mulder realized that there were no cell phones back in 1983 -which was the last time Jamie had clear memories before being possessed. He had to adjust to being away from society for so long, and to all the changes. He lost so many years. Mulder knew that he and Jamie had a long road ahead, getting to know one another all over again. And he to a Jamie that essentially had not grown since he was last with him.

With no warning, Peril's astonished voice cried out from the doorway. "Oh my God! I don't believe it!"

The assembled group turned to find a stunned Peril and an older woman staring across at Jamie. They looked like they had just seen a ghost. Mulder got to his feet as the astonished pair hurried toward the bed.

"Oh, honey, are you okay?" Peril, crying, threw her arms around her cousin.

"Jamie," breathed Janine, embracing her son. She felt inept. She was eighteen years out of practice at parenting Jamie. What, really, could she say? Until she'd received that phone call, she had completely given up hope of ever seeing him again.

"Mom," he said, simply.

She sat on the bed and smoothed back his hair. "Just rest now. Everything will be all right."

Walter cleared his throat, embarrassed to be privy to this family moment.

"We'll give you some time alone," offered Mulder.

"Thank you," Janine told him, cooly.

Mulder felt a distinct chill from her insincere smile and Arctic blue eyes. Taking him by the arm, Dana gently pulled him away.

As they left, Mulder's gaze lingered on Jamie, who looked completely lost. And Peril, watching him, saw the look in Mulder's eyes, and it nearly took her breath away.

Out in the hall, Dr. Walker watched the trio departing. Before the door could close, he pushed it open a tad. "Excuse me," he interrupted. "Mrs. Hunter, if you can keep this visit short."

"Of course, doctor," she nodded, then turned back to Jamie. To look at her son hurt Janine. He had suffered and survived, and she had done nothing to help find him. Well, she would not lose him again.

"Mrs. Hunter?" stammered Jamie. He looked down at his mother's hand. There was a wedding ring.

Janine cast a nervous glance at Peril, then took a deep breath. "Yes, ah- Baby, do you remember Marc Hunter?"

"Vaguely." Jamie frowned. A lawyer, wasn't he?

"He was a wonderful help to me when you..." She chose her words carefully, "...went away."

The implication sank in.

"What else is different?" Jamie asked, quietly.

"You have a little sister, Erin. She's fifteen and very anxious to meet her big brother."

A sister. After all this time. "What about Grams?" continued Jamie. "Where is she?"

Peril chimed in, happily. "Same old Grams. She's on a cruise."

"A cruise? I'm back and she's on a cruise?"

"Darling, she didn't know," Janine interjected.

Peril nodded. "She's on her way back now. The moment she heard, I'm sure she had the captain turn the ship around."

This was all too much for Jamie. "You know, I'm really tired," he said, exhaling and sinking against the pillows.

"Of course, sweetheart," his mother replied, clamly. "We'll let you get some sleep."

"We'll see you later, ok?" Peril added.

As soon as the lights were out and the door shut, Jamie slumped dejectedly into the bed. Deep inside, all the changes bothered him profoundly. In reality, Jamie was more sad and confused than he wanted to be or knew how to deal with.

After the door closed behind them, Janine turned to Peril. "He's going to be fine, now that we're both here to look after him."

Peril sighed and put a gentle hand on her aunt's arm. "You have to take it easy. I've met Fox Mulder and he really loves him."

"That's what worries me." Janine crossed her arms over her chest. "I want to have a talk with that doctor and get Jamie out of here as soon as possible."

[Next Episode: Out From The Deep]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing, Chapter Three: Undertow  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: October 17th, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum.  
E-MAIL:   
FEEDBACK: Please! Always welcome!  
RATING: PG13 (Chapter 3)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination.  
BETA READER: Bertina  
EXTRA SPECIAL THANKS: Goddess Michele  
DEDICATION: For Neige and Vyper

* * *

Chapter Three: Undertow

The setting sun cast vivid splashes of golden orange across the sky. Light sparkled in Mulder's bright, hazel eyes. He checked his watch again. It was 7:32 --two minutes later than the last time he'd checked. He had not been able to visit with Jamie at all since his cousin and rather icy mother arrived. Plus, the fact that Scully and Dr. Walker ran endless tests.

Out of all the miraculous and terrifying things he'd seen in his life, one thing still gave him the creeps: hospitals. However, because of Jamie, he couldn't wait to get back to San Francisco Memorial.

Scully had insisted that he have a good meal and brought him to this restuarant, while Jamie had his first walk. She'd wanted Skinner to come along, but he was busy making arrangements to return to D.C.

Sighing, Mulder picked up his fork and absently played with a lettuce leaf dripping with some unidentifiable subtance. He decided it was either alien ectoplasm or some new style of ranch dressing.

Across the table, Scully cocked an eyebrow and swallowed her bite of salad. "It's nice just sitting here talking," she observed.

"Hmm?"

"Mulder, I said: isn't it amazing that the man behind you just morphed into an alien?"

"Yeah, great."

"Mulder, you've not heard a single word I've said!"

"Huh? What? Oh, Scully, I'm sorry. My mind's on..."

"Jamie?"

Mulder nodded and took a gulp of his ice water. "Are you absolutely sure he's going to be all right?"

"Physically, yes. Emotionally, well, I think he's got a long way to go. I definitely think you can help him through the trauma. After all, you two have a lot in common."

"How do you mean?"

"Coming back from the dead, ring any bells, Mulder?"

"Several," he smiled. A sudden thought struck him. "Did you just make a joke?"

Scully just shook her head with a light laugh. Mulder noticed that she'd nearly finished her dinner. And he saw something else, as well. A glint in her eye that always suggested something was on her mind.

"Something's worrying you, Scully," he said, pointedly. "What is it?"

She sat down her fork and pushed her plate away. "I have to tell you that Jamie's mother is pushing for both Dr. Walker and I to release him into her care." She paused as a young waitress, who'd been shamelessly flirting with Mulder -- winking, smiling, catching glimpses of his crotch -- returned to take away her dishes. Dana smiled politely, thinking 'you're really barking up the wrong tree, sister.' Propping her elbows up on the table, she resumed once the waitress left. "It's difficult to explain to his mother why Jamie needs time when-"

Mulder broke in. "I know. I don't think anyone would believe us if we tried."

That was an understatement. Dana had a hard enough time with Dr. Walker's questions. To be honest, she didn't particularly care for Janine Hunter's attitude toward Mulder, who was willing to sacrifice everything for Jamie.

Hoisting the strap of her purse over a shoulder, Dana asked, "Do you want a lift back to the hotel?"

Mulder wiped dressing from his lips. "No," he adamantly replied, "I want to check on Jamie one more time."

Dana was not surprised. She didn't think Mulder had spent one moment in the hotel room she'd booked for him. Mulder read her expression.

"Scully, don't give me that look. I promise to get some rest after I see him."

"All right. But I'm gonna hold you to it."

*****

Sleep for Jamie remained elusive. His first walk had not gone so well. The second he stood on his feet, the world began to spin. He'd barely made it back to his bed unaided, which only added injured pride to the many issues whirling through his confused, and now aching mind.

Jamie slumped down into the starched sheets, wanting to bury his face in the pillow. He'd been pricked and prodded every thirty minutes or so, and his walk up and down the hospital corridor had left him equally drained.

Rolling onto his side, Jamie grimaced from a slight burning sensation, and righted himself once more. Ah, Mulder, he thought, nothing says I love you like a knife in the gut. Jamie had survived a prophecy, and Mulder had brought him back.

He concentrated on the air conditioner hum, and tried to sleep.

"Hey!" a voice whispered.

Jamie blinked open his eyes and turned. A shadowy figure stood in the doorway. Before his blurry eyes it seemed cowled and imposing. Jamie bit down a gasp.

"It's me," Alex Krycek told him, fully entering the room.

Jamie heaved an enormous sigh of relief.

"I saw a nurse leave a little while ago," Alex explained, walking toward the bed.

Turning on one of the flourescent lights behind him, Jamie offered some illumination. He smiled wryly at his friend and stretched out an arm. "Yeah, she took like a quart of blood. I'm starting to wonder if vampires are in charge of this place."

Alex smirked and pulled up a chair. "With our luck, you never know."

"True." Jamie looked up at him with warmth in his eyes. Alex, thank you for everything--"

Certainly not used to gratitude, Krycek swiftly changed the subject. "Are you okay?"

"If I only had a dollar for each time someone's asked me that."

"I know what you mean." Alex touched the side of Jamie's forehead. "Just a lot going on in here, huh?"

"I'm trying to be as normal as possible," he confided, sadly, "but it's like everyone's staring at me. The ghost boy who fell from outer space."

Alex snorted. Understanding all too well what Jamie was going through. "Yeah, they'll never understand what happened. So what are you gonna do?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm so confused, I don't know what to do."

"You mean about your family and Mulder?"

"It's not so much them, but what I need to do for me. I just feel so..." Jamie struggled to find the words. Part of him wanted to cry, another wanted to laugh, and the next just plain wanted to scream. He wanted to understand why this had all happened to him. And he certainly did not want to put the people he loved through any more pain -- especially Mulder.

"I'm just so ashamed," he admitted. "Alex, what if I can't forget?"

"You didn't do anything wrong." Alex sighed, deeply. "The important thing is that we can all get on with our lives."

Easy for you to say, thought Jamie.

"I just wanted to see you before I leave."

"You're leaving?"

Alex could feel his emotions building and he hated that. He felt very protective of Jamie, like a surrogate brother. He stood up and ruffled his hair. "You take care of yourself, you hear me? And If anyone gives you any problems, I'll personally kick their ass for you." He winked. "'Cause you know I will."

A light laugh fell from Jamie's lips, and it felt good. Alex wore a huge grin. "Knew I could make 'ya smile."

Jamie peered closely at him. "What about you? You need someone to take care of you."

Displaying the bandages wrapped snuggly round his chest, Krycek said, "Hey, I'm indestructible." Catching the concerned glint in Jamie's eye, Alex smiled mysteriously and looked at him as if he'd thought of a private joke. "Don't worry, all right? I'm not alone anymore."

With a little wave, a pensive Jamie sank back into the bed. What does he mean, he's not alone?

*****

A while later, Mulder silently opened a hospital room door, and found that Jamie had drifted off to sleep. All he wanted to do was take Jamie into his arms and make everything go away.

"What are you doing?" a harsh voice hissed near his ear.

He turned to find Jamie's mother staring daggers at him. "Just checking that he's resting okay," he replied.

Janine reached forward and closed the door. "Mr. Mulder, I'd like a word with you."

Mulder sensed the animosity radiating from her. Now was as good a time as any to talk. "I know Jamie must seem distant right now. He's been through an ordeal. He's going to need time to get his life back."

"It seems to me that whenever he's around you his life is turned upside down," she replied, hotly. "I have my son back and that's all that matters."

Mulder exhaled. She was aiming her anger at him. The same way he had at Krycek. She was feeling the same fear -- afraid of losing Jamie again.

"I know exactly what you're feeling," he offered, gently. "When someone you love's been taken away you feel like it's the end of the world. Something terrible happened. Something you might never understand."

It was all very well to tell her to let Jamie have time. But her ideas and his were totally at odds.

Janine ignored his advice. "No, what I understand is that Jamie will be fine once I take him back home."

With that she whirled on her heel and stalked away. Mulder's frown deepened. How could he make her understand? The worst thing in the world to do was push Jamie.

Walter came striding up the corridor, glancing at the irate Janine's retreating back. "Mulder, I heard. I'm so sorry," he said.

"She's just hurt and confused," Mulder replied, trying his damndest not to let it get to him. "What are you doing here this time of night?"

Walter held up is bandaged arm. "Just one last check before I head back."

Mulder gave him a boyish grin. "Another war wound. Walter, look, I've never been any good at expressing my feelings--"

"What? You are kidding, right? You brought Jamie back, didn't you?"

Mulder blushed. "What I'm trying to say is thank you. I could have never saved him without you."

Skinner was completely taken by surprise when Mulder gave him a quick hug. Not for the first time he thought just how lucky Jamie was.

*****

Restlessly, Jamie stirred in his sleep. Shadows swirled and rippled. A deep rumble of mocking laughter shook the walls. A dark mist crept up, beneath covers, invading every fibre of his being. He opened his mouth to cry out, but felt himself choking. Suddenly Mulder appeared. As if in slow motion, he waded through the darkness.

"Jamie," he called, shaking his shoulders. "Jamie, wake up!"

Jamie's eyes shot open and he fell, sweating and panting, into Mulder's arms. "Azathoth's trying to come back!"

Mulder held his face in his hands. "Jamie, it was just a bad dream," he explained, gently.

"No, it wasn't. It was real." Jamie shook his head and Mulder wiped away the tears from his cheeks. "I don't understand. Why is this happening to me?"

Taking him back into his arms, Mulder massaged his back comfortingly. "Jamie, everything's all right now," he whispered softly in his ear. "I promise you, it's over."

Jamie sat back, his entire body shaking. "It's over," he echoed. "Or is it?" He looked thoughtful. "Mulder, do you ever get the feeling that nothing's really over? It keeps coming back. Do you know what I mean?"

Mulder chewed on his bottom lip, suddenly remembering that endless Monday morning a few years back.

"If it'll make you feel better, I'll stay right here with you," offered Mulder, sliding up next to him. "The nurses'll have to drag me out of here, okay?"

Jamie didn't want to argue. Mulder's suggestion was the best thing he'd heard all day.

Tenderly, Mulder pulled Jamie close, and eased his head down. "Now close your eyes," he instructed. He looked down and found those grey-green pools wide open. "Close them," he repeated, in a whispered voice.

Jamie did, and felt a light touch as Mulder slowly stroked his hair. Mulder smiled to himself as Jamie's muscles relaxed and their fingers entwined. Soon, Jamie's chest began a gentle rise and fall. For the first time, he truly felt safe.

*****

The bright, early morning sun pierced through a window as Jamie gazed out of a window at the soft blue sky, dotted with puffy white clouds. He'd woken at half past nine, feeling refreshed. Mulder had left a note, sitting on Mr. Skinner's Teddy bear, which stated that he'd left to shower and change but would be back later.

He secretly hoped later would be sooner. Jamie managed to sleep a little better with Mulder in the same room. His reasurring presence helped quell the doubts in Jamie's mind. At the memory of Mulder's warm body beside him, Jamie felt a tingle run all over his skin.

Turning, he supported himself along the wall, moving back toward the bed where his breakfast lay stone cold. Sitting back, he exhaled and closed his eyes. Another round of tests and walking up and down the hall had left him drained. He hoped he could get out of this place soon. Then again, he had a number of important decisions awaiting him.

A knock at the door made his hopeful eyes look up. Instead of Mulder it was Peril. With an infectious smile, she came in, jumped on the bed and smothered Jamie's cheek with kisses.

"How's the patient this morning?"

"Fine," he lied.

Peril stared down at the neglected toast and jelly. "Doesn't look too appetizing," she observed. "I think these places do it on purpose so folks will leave sooner. Ya think?"

No answer. Jamie was staring into space. Peril waved a hand in front of her younger's cousin's face. "Earth to Planet Jamie?"

Jamie gave a start of surprise. "Huh?"

She smiled. "You're quiet this morning."

Jamie looked down at the tray, then back up again. "You're different. You're different, too, he stated sadly. "The way you look at me."

"I am not different!" she adamantly told him. Seeing the hurt in his eyes, she continued more tactfully. "Sweetie, I'm sorry. I know this must be very difficult for you."

"It is," he quietly replied.

"But I don't think anyone wants to make you uncomfortable."

"Is this the way it's going to be from now on? Second guessing everyone?"

Peril didn't know how to answer him. She wished her cousin would confide exactly what had happened to him. Maybe she could help him. At that moment the door opened and Janine walked in with a handful of shopping bags. Peril was grateful for the change in topic.

"Been shopping, have you?"

Janine dumped the bags on the bed and started handing Jamie shirts and jeans.

"Mom, I don't think I need this many," Jamie said, eyeing the unfamiliar brand names. Styles sure have changed, he thought.

"Honey, you will when you leave." Janine sat on the bed's edge and nervously brushed Jamie's hair back. "Baby, I should have never left you go to that school."

With a heavy sigh, Jamie discarded the Tommy Hilfiger shirt and looked his mom straight in the eye. "Mom, you don't understand--"

"What I understand is that you'll be much better off once you're back home."

"Home?" Jamie's eyes widened with shock. "Woah! Please, this is going way too fast for me." He glanced at his mom and winced at the gathering frown he saw.

Janine's eyes glinted with determination. He was coming back home and that was final. "You've been away for so long. I just want this time with you."

Peril rolled her eyes. Guilt-trip, anyone?

Jamie slumped back in defeat. A heavy weight settled on his spirit. How on earth was he going to tell Mulder?

Triumphant, Janine nodded at her niece. "Peril, why don't you take Jamie for a walk while I talk with his doctors?"

After Janine left on her one-woman crusade, Peril shrugged her shoulders helplessly. "You know, you don't have to go if you don't want to."

"If I don't, mom will never forgive me."

Helping him off the bed, Peril led him out into the hallway. She decided to engage him in some small talk. "Have you seen Alex Krycek?" she wondered.

Jamie nodded. "He came to see me just before he left last night. Why?"

"Oh, nothing. He's very..." She stuck her tongue out, thinking about the gorgeous man she'd briefly met. "...interesting. Of course, anyone that cute can't possibly be straight." Her attmept at levity went unnoticed. She decided it was time to boost Jamie's morale. "Sweetie, maybe going home won't be so bad. You'll get to recuperate in peace and quiet. Plus, I'm sure Mulder will visit." If Aunt Janine will let him past the door, she thought, grimly. "And by the time you get there, Grams should be back."

"Grams," he repeated, quietly.

"Hey, you're getting stronger," Peril observed, then decided to keep chatting. "Oh Jamie, you would've been so proud of her. She never feel apart once when you were lost. She even stood up in the middle of your memorial service and told them to call it off..."

As if he'd been slapped, Jamie made a quick gasp of surprise. "My what?!"

"Oh, crap! You didn't know."

Jamie's legs felt weak as water. "I think I need to sit down," he said, slipping out of Peril's grip and heading back to his room.

Peril smacked herself in the forehead. "Good job, Peril," she said, aloud. "Way to go."

Shutting himself in the bathroom, Jamie's eyes sparkled, the mirror reflecting the hurt. How could they do that? Then the rational part of his mind took over. He could imagine his family receiving the tragic news.

Suddenly nauseated, he leaned over the sink and splashed cold water over his face. They thought I was dead. They believed I was dead. I'm supposed to be dead. It had been eighteen years --what else could they think?

Jamie remembered nothing else until he woke up back in his bed. Peril heard his anguished cry, and at the sound of his collapse, had rushed to find an orderly.

Peril felt awful. Telling Jamie his own family had given up and buried him -- oh how she wished she could take it all back. It would not be easy for Jamie to get over that fact. And she was right.

Janine was mortified when she heard Peril had spilt the beans. Despite her quick declarations of love, Jamie could not bear to talk and remained quiet for the rest of the afternoon while decisions were made around him. Both Dr. Scully and Dr. Walker advised against moving him too quickly. As far as Janine was concerned, there was no debating the subject -- Jamie was returning home.

*****

Freshly showered, shaved, and wearing a midnight blue dress shirt, and dark brown slacks, Mulder exited the elevator thinking things were as cool as cool could be. Last night had been like a dream, just holding Jamie while he slept, as if there was no one in the world but the two of them.

All the way up to the hospital, Mulder sang along to a Queen song playing on his rental car's radio. Jamie was being released tonight and that meant Scully knew he was going to be all right. He knew that Jamie would be nervous and Mulder was determined to be there for support, and ensure things went smoothly for him.

He found Jamie's hospital room door opened, and the patient himself fully dressed in brand new clothes standing beside the bed packing his few belongings.

"Jamie?" he said, venturing inside.

"Mulder." Jamie turned, with a nervous little grin. "This day has been weird."

Mulder paused to close the door and chuckled. "Jamie, call me Fox."

Now it was Jamie's turn to laugh. "I don't think I'll ever get used to that," he said, shaking his head. He turned back to the little case supplied by the hospital. "They're springing me from this joint today."

Mulder nodded. "Scully told me." He tried unsuccessfully to keep his eyes off Jamie. Does he still feel it? he wondered. Does he still want to touch me as much as I want to touch him?

"I've almost forgotten what the outside world looks like," Jamie continued. "It's been a beautiful day."

Mulder's bright, hazel eyes wandered up the fine cut of Jamie's jeans. His senses began to overload faster than a nuclear reactor.

"Mulder?" Jamie called.

"Hmm? Beautiful," he said, dreamily. Mulder could not hold back any longer. He wanted to hold Jamie so badly that he thought his bones might crack. With one hand, he turned Jamie round to face him. "Jamie, I'm going crazy here. I've been waiting for this, for us, for so long that I don't want to wait any longer."

Jamie felt a thrill of excitement run through him. "Are you kidding? I want that more than anything. I don't want to lose you again."

With one deep breath, Mulder reached out to him. The contact was electric. His hands felt as if they were on fire. Jamie gasped, his pulse hammering. He raised his glittering eyes to his. Cupping Jamie's face in both hands, Mulder bent forward and began to kiss him.

Jamie felt as if he were drowning. His heartbeat roared in his ears. Every inch of his skin tingled, so much that he shivered. Mulder's arms came around his waist and pressed him into the warmth of his body. His hands roamed up and down, caressing his back.

Lust and love mingled intimately, then took over as Jamie searched and fumbled with the buttons on Mulder's shirt. Opening and discarding it with primal desire.

Mulder explored the hot recesses of Jamie's willing mouth with his probing tongue. He savoured him, wanting to devour him. The kiss went on and on.

Suddenly, the door flew open and Peril barged in. "WHOAAA!" she cried, immediately turning her back.

Mulder and Jamie, surprised, finally broke away. Their breathing ragged, their lips red and swollen.

"I should've knocked," Peril apologized. "I'm so sorry." She backed out and closed the door.

Mulder stared at Jamie, dazed and breathless. In turn, Jamie's cheeks were hot, and his lips throbbed where they had been pressed against Mulder's.

"I-I guess I'd better go see what she wants," Jamie stammered, gesturing toward the door.

Mulder's heart cried out, no! don't go! Then he realized he was pushing Jamie and he needed time. He nodded, trying to pick up his shirt with trembling fingers.

"Yeah, all right." Mulder's voice was slightly hoarse.

"Right," Jamie breathed, reaching for the door.

Out in the hall, he leaned back and groaned. "This is so frustrating!"

Peril approached him timidly. "I didn't see anything!" she exclaimed.

Jamie's eyes softened. "Not that." He sighed. How could he possibly explain it? She would never understand. "Suddenly things are moving so fast."

"And that's a bad thing?" Peril leaned in with a wicked grin. "I gotta tell you, Mulder looks so fine."

Jamie arched an eyebrow. "I thought you didn't see anything?"

"Well, nothing good." She rubbed his arm. "So, sweetie, have you told him yet?"

"No. And that's the problem. I'm so scared of hurting him." He looked at Peril with sad eyes. "Why do things have to be so complicated?"

With a heavy heart, Jamie walked back inside the room. "Mulder," he spoke lightly, feeling a sharp disappointment to find that Mulder had put his shirt back on.

Mulder smiled warmly and took him back into his arms. Jamie hesitated and placed a finger on his plump, bottom lip which sent a shiver through him.

"Wait," he managed to say.

"But you just said," Mulder protested. He was right. Jamie was pulling away from him.

"I know," Jamie said with great difficulty. "Mulder, my mother wants me to go back with them."

"She told me."

Jamie blinked, and gaped at him. "She what? She did what? She had no right to do that."

Mulder have a sudden, boyish grin. A little of the old fire in Jamie was returning. But he knew in his heart that Jamie needed this time to heal and reconnect with his family.

"Jamie, she only wants what's best for you," he said, putting on a brave front. "You've got to give it some time."

"I don't want to go but... there's just some things I have to work out for myself." His eyes read Mulder's downcast face. "Mulder, are you mad at me?"

"Of course not." He pushed a hand through Jamie's blonde hair. "I just wish I could help you with everything you're facing. Reclaiming your identity, dealing with your family."

"Hey, you're talking to a guy who's survived being possessed and stalked by a cult." Jamie tried to smile. "You don't think I can handle this?"

"I know you can handle anything." Mulder's gaze was impossibly tender. He pulled Jamie close. "I don't know if I can handle saying good-bye again."

"Me, too. It's really wonderful to be with someone who really knows me. Who understands what we've both been through."

"Listen to us reminiscing about the good old days." Mulder rolled his eyes. "We must be nuts."

Jamie shook his head. "No, we're perfectly sane. It's the rest of the world that's nuts."

*****

Jamie was in tears when he emerged from the room. Peril took his little suitcase and instinctively wrapped an arm round his shoulders.

Janine, who had just arrived after signing his release papers, asked, "Are you ready?" Her eyes glinted dissapproval.

Jamie raised his head to look at her, eye to eye. "Mother, why did you tell him I was leaving?" he snapped. "I am an adult and I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions."

"I know you are, darling," she cooed. "Now let's hurry or we'll be late for our flight."

[Next Episode: If I Fall]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing, Chapter Four: A Family Affair  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: October 23rd, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum  
E-MAIL:   
FEEDBACK: PLEASE, always welcome!  
RATING: PG (Chapter 4)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Drama, Angst  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination.  
BETA READER: Bertina  
EXTRA MEGA SPECIAL THANKS: Goddess Michele  
DEDICATION: For Neige and Vyper

* * *

Chapter Four: A Family Affair

"I can't stay. No, I appreciate the offer, but really, I can't."

Scully was overwhelmed by the admiration of her colleagues. Caring for Jamie over the past several days reminded her of how much she wanted to be in the medical profession. However, something far more important awaited her at home. A precious baby boy she was dying to get back to, and a mother who would kill her if she didn't return home soon.

Hefting the cellophane-wrapped gift basket -- complete with gaudy pink bow -- in one hand, while carrying an already overloaded shoulderbag, Dana smiled politely and thanked the nurses and Dr. Walker. She gazed past them when Mulder, looking as if he just lost his last friend in the world, appeared up the other corridor.

"Mulder," she called, anxious to have a word with him.

He eyed the larger-than-life basket nestled in her arms. "Let me guess, you won first prize at the car wash?"

"That's not funny." Her blue eyes pratically glittered. "Mulder, after all you've done to get Jamie back in your life. I can't believe you let him go."

He visibly bristled, his mouth turned down. "Scully, I encouraged him to go."

"What? Why, for heaven's sake?"

Mulder found it hard to explain. He could still feel his lost love in his arms, the scorching kiss they'd shared moments earlier... And the pain, the uncertainty in Jamie's eyes. He took a deep breath.

"If we're going to have any future together, he needs this time to heal and re-establish a relationship with his family. He needs to know he still has roots, something to cling to."

Dana took him by the arm, finding it difficult with her gift, and walked him away from prying ears. "Mulder, don't give me that psychology crap. What Jamie needs is you." She exhaled and rolled her eyes. "His mother couldn't get him out of here and on a plane fast enough."

Mulder gaped at her. "What? She's taking him back home tonight?"

"I don't think he had much of a choice." Indeed, Scully had been quite taken aback at the sight of Janine Hunter with a firm grip on Jamie's arm, striding toward the elevators. Jamie had caught Dana's eye and given her a sad little wave. She couldn't believe that Mulder was just letting him go.

She was startled from her thoughts when Mulder gripped her wrist and hauled her toward the first lift, in a bizarre parody of what she'd seen earlier with Jamie.

"Mulder!" she protested.

*****

The San Francisco International Airport was lit up like an overgrown Christmas tree. From her position in the waiting area, Peril glanced over at Jamie. He'd been pretty quiet ever since they'd left the hospital. She couldn't blame him. Decisions were being made for him, without asking what he needed, what he wanted. Beside him, Aunt Janine sat stoically, waiting. She was eaten up with guilt for giving up on her son, and she was definitely taking things above and beyond the call of duty. Even though her cousin was nearing his late-thirties, her aunt was still treating him like a teenager.

The terminal building buzzed with people waiting for flights. Peril had tried to make Jamie laugh by pointing out all the weird-as-hell people you only see in airports, but to no avail. She wished that she could tag along back to Georgia, but work commitments would keep her in California for the next two days.

Janine stood up to peer at one of the information monitors. She turned jubilantly. "It's almost time to leave."

Peril wore a troubled frown. This was not going to go well for Jamie. She noticed him visibly shiver and he turned slightly to look behind them. Peril remembered well how her cousin used to get certain "feelings" about things. She also turned and her eyes widened.

Fox Mulder was running across the concourse toward them, dragging Dr. Scully behind him.

Janine looked as if she'd swallowed a wasp. Peril mentally counted DOWN the fireworks... 5,4,3...

A breathless Mulder caught up with Jamie, and gripped his arms. "I couldn't let you leave without saying good-bye," he said between breaths. "I had no idea you were leaving this soon."

Jamie nodded. "Neither did I."

...2,1 -- Kaboom!

"What are you doing here?" Janine asked, her eyes narrowing. "Is something wrong?" she continued, this time addressing her question to Scully. Dana bit her lip, quickly trying to think of an excuse. She'd barely survived Mulder's drag race from the hospital, and subterfuge on the spot was more Mulder's forte than her own.

"Just give us a minute, please," Jamie requested, pleadingly, not taking his eyes off of Mulder for one second.

"Well, hurry. We don't have time to waste."

"Mother!" Jamie exclaimed, this time looking at her. As soon as she, Peril and Scully moved away, a chorus of embarrassed chuckles burst from Jamie. "I'm sorry. I am so sorry," he groaned.

Mulder smiled softly, and played along. "What for?"

"Every time we're together, I always seem to land you in trouble."

"I'm not complaining," he replied, tenderly. He rested his hands on Jamie's shoulders and gazed into his eyes. "Jamie, I know that you're scared--"

But Mulder couldn't finish because Jamie embraced him, and the honey-cinnamon scent of his hair was a distraction. Lifting his chin, Mulder told him, "In the back of my mind, I always knew that somehow, someway we would get another chance." From the corner of his eye, he could see Janine approaching. The gold flecks in Mulder's eyes flashed defiantly. "I also know that I'm going to fight for you."

"Excuse us," Janine interrupted, dryly. She looped an arm round Jamie's arm. "I think we're ready to go."

Peril, who had been watching the scene unfold, hugged her cousin warmly, wished him luck and promised to see him soon. But Jamie was torn with conflicting emotions and could barely speak. The look in his eyes nearly broke her heart in two. Peril had never seen him look so defeated. Somehow, she had to help fix this.

In that moment, Mulder wrenchingly missed Jamie even though he was still standing right in front of him. He had been through so much, and deserved a purple heart for courage. Mulder was seriously worried about him. Jamie's mom was hovering all over him -- as if that helped and made up for anything. Mulder knew that he could handle that woman -- the frost queen. You've got to know how to deal with people like that, and he was certain Jamie did not.

In his heart, Mulder knew that Jamie returning home wouldn't totally heal the pain of what he'd lost, but it might put everything into perspective. The only way they could have a future together was if Jamie healed, physically and mentally. I'd like nothing better than to be there with him, Mulder thought.

Dana moved closer and placed a comforting hand on Mulder's shoulder.

Behind the tinted concave glass parition, Jamie paused at the boarding entrance. He turned and silently mouthed "I love you" to Mulder before being swept away.

*****

The world danced by in shades of red, green and deep browns. Leaving the window down, Jamie breathed in the intoxicating Georgia autumn air. Funny how a smell can bring on a flood of memories.

He peered out at his hometown, the gentle breeze whipping through his hair. The old familiar buildings stood out like a long-forgotten dream, while the sparkling new shopping centers brought on a feeling of displacement.

As comforting as the idyllic scenery was, without Mulder's reasurring smile, the truth was Jamie remained disoriented. On the airplane, Jamie had swallowed every stinging tear, resolving himself to believe that what he was doing was for the best.

He was horribly aware of all the things that had taken place during his possession. He felt separated from the rest of the world, an outcast, searching for answers, and the piece of himself that got away. He really wasn't certain about anything any more. He needed this time to think and work out all the reasons why. The only thing he held safely in his heart was the knowledge that Fox Mulder was the love of his life.

But Jamie was scared to death of the niggling doubts, the demons which plagued his dreams, and the thought that there must be something inherently evil about him.

Janine glanced over at him. "So, how does it feel to be back?"

He just stared back at her, uncertainly.

She didn't notice the flicker of doubt, so wrapped up in her own issues with Jamie's return. "I have so many good things planned for you."

The car made a sharp turn onto an unfamiliar street. Jamie took in the rows of large, two-story Victorian homes with their manicured lawns and porch swings, wondering where they were going.

In many ways it mirrored the path his emotions were on, reflecting a road that he didn't recognize, couldn't follow and hadn't any idea where it was leading.

"This isn't the way home," he piped up.

"Yes, it is, darling," his mother answered, smiling. "We sold the old place a long time ago. We have a wonderful new house that you're going to love."

Jamie gazed back out of the window. With every blinding curve that appeared, all of the changes were soon to drive him right around the bend.

The journey ended outside of what appeared to be a manor. It was beautiful, with its dark red wood, and stained-glass windows, and would look perfectly fine in a classy New England suburb, but in Georgia... the style stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Here we are," Janine told him, shutting off the engine. "What do you think?"

"It's nice." Jamie grabbed his little suitcase and stepped out into the sunshine. Together they started up a set of wide steps, framed by rosebushes, and toward the polished French doors.

They opened before them to reveal a middle-aged man, with thining brown hair, wearing an Izod sweater and khaki pants.

"Hi," Marc Hunter smiled, and shook his hand. "How are you?"

Mom's new husband, Jamie thought. He recognized the man instantly as the lawyer who'd handled his father's estate so many years ago. Jamie's hazy memory recalled him being quite nice at the time, but the notion that the very same man had married his mother just plain gave him the creeps.

"Alive and kicking," Jamie replied, trying to take in his mother's elegant new home. Stepping into the foyer, he was greeted by a pretty young girl twirling her long, sandy-blonde hair on one finger. She sported indigo stirrup pants, and a tee shirt depicting five guys called N'Sync, whoever they were.

While Jamie introduced himself to his little sister, Erin, Marc took his wife aside and whispered, "So, how is he?"

Janine frowned. "He's just, I don't know... distant. Not anything I can really put my finger on, it's just right now, there's no connection."

"Has he said where he's been all this time?"

The question which had been preying on Marc's mind went unanswered for Janine rushed forward and led her son across the foyer and into the living room.

"Now, while we were gone your sister and stepfather cleared out a room for you," she began, as if entertaining a guest.

"Which used to be my dance room," Erin mumbled under her breath.

Janine shot her a look. "And we're going to have all of your favorites for dinner tonight. How does that sound?"

"Great," Jamie replied, although his tone didn't inspire much enthusiasm.

*****

Evening, and the family, along with their newest member, sat at the dining room table. Marc had attempted to engage Jamie in a series of questions, each one neatly deflected by Janine. Jamie just stared at the pot roast cooling on his plate.

"Jamie!" Erin said. No response. "Jamie!" This time, she nudged him.

Back on earth, Jamie blinked at her. "Fine! I'm fine."

"Good!" Erin looked at him like he was the world's biggest space cadet. "Would you like some more potatoes?"

Jamie took the bowl and started dishing mashed potatoes out onto his plate. Though his stomach rumbled and complained, he had no desire to eat. Instead, he sat propping up his chin and doodling with his fork. Beneath the soft-lit chandelier, the name "Mulder" appeared in the white mass.

"What were you thinking about, dear?" Janine asked.

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on," Marc prodded. "You can tell us your deep, dark secrets. We're your family."

Jamie shifted uncomfortably. "I wasn't thinking about anything, really."

"What'd you do on the plane?" Erin wondered, spearing a piece of broccoli dripping with melted cheese.

"Just slept. I had weird dreams."

"Dreams are meaningful," Marc said, giving him a knowing glance.

"Shh!" Janine chided her husband, then turned back to Jamie. "Tell us about it. Just so long as it wasn't about Mr. Mulder. I really don't want him involved."

"I'll bet," Jamie muttered under his breath. What on earth did she have against Mulder? He didn't have long to contemplate as Marc slammed a hand down on the table.

"Jamie!" he said, angrily.

Jamie stood up. "What is it?"

"You're going to have to deal with this, sooner or later."

"Well, I'll deal with it." Jamie was suddenly very confused. "This is my problem, not yours."

Marc got to his feet and walked toward him. "Oh, I don't know. I mean," he began to chuckle, "I've possessed you once, it shouldn't be too difficult to do it again."

"What?" Jamie gasped in shock.

Marc took a hard backhand swing at his face, knocking Jamie down onto the table. He jumped on top of him and started to choke the life out of Jamie. At opposite ends, Janine and Erin just sat and chewed away at their food. Erin nodded and smiled at her mother.

Jamie reached up to Marc's face and desperately tried to push him off. Crying out, Jamie clawed at him, and suddenly his stepfather's face dissolved, revealing a thick, black mist underneath. Jamie stared up at him in wide-eyed terror.

He woke from his nightmare with a start. Taking a deep breath, he looked around the freshly-painted sky blue bedroom in a daze. Sitting up, he reached for a glass of water on the nightstand. Taking a long drink, he put the glass down and rubbed his face.

Suddenly, the telephone started to ring, shrilling along his nerves.

"Hello?"

"Mind a late night call from your favorite cousin?" Peril's friendly voice answered back.

"You woke me from a really good dream," Jamie lied.

"I'm sorry. How are things?"

"Tense." Jamie wasn't sure if that was a strong enough word to describe the atmosphere of the past few days.

Resentment toward the prodigal son was setting in. Janine was refocusing her energy formerly directed toward Marc and Erin to Jamie. His mother was compensating for lost time -- by shopping. More clothes than he could shake a stick at, a new stereo system, and a computer that he didn't even know how to turn on. Jamie would take his mother's love any way he could get it, however, rebuilding a relationship with her was difficult. She glossed over everything, and stealthily avoided talking. Added to this was her hostile attitude at the mere mention of Mulder's name, and it was infuriating Jamie to no end. He'd never felt more alone in his life.

Jamie was trying to pick up where he'd left off at age nineteen, when he'd first left home. So many things had changed that the least little event came as a constant shock. He didn't know how much longer he could bear the sympathetic looks from his family.

Peril's voice shook him out of his reverie. "Well, I have some good news. I'm on a plane right now headed your way."

"That's great," he replied, diving down into the pillows.

"So why do you sound so depressed?"

"It's nothing, really." His voice became tinged with sadness. "I just feel a little out of place right now."

Peril thought back to high school when her cousin had bravely stood up to a bully who consistently picked on him.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," she said, "but the Jamie I know doesn't run away from anything."

"Smarty."

*****

"Jamie, telephone!" Erin's voice called.

It was mid-afternoon and Jamie had already been for a long walk around the neighborhood, something which had become a regular habit. It seemed to be helping, a little.

Coming out of his room, Erin handed him the portable. "Don't be long," she warned. "I'm waiting for my boyfriend to call."

Jamie raised his eyebrows at her. Having a teenaged sister was strange, to say the least.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Hey."

The second Jamie heard Mulder's silky monotone, he felt a surge of relief wash over him.

"I miss you," Mulder continued.

Jamie sighed, and leaned against a wall. "I miss you, too."

"So have they driven you crazy yet?" Mulder asked, trying to get him to smile.

"I've had good moments, and some not so good ones," Jamie confessed. "I'm still having bad dreams."

Bad dreams were Mulder's field of expertise. "It's just your mind's way of dealing with the trauma. Have you tried keeping a journal? It might help."

"I'll try that. I just don't want to be confused any more." Jamie closed his eyes and tried to imagine Mulder standing directly in front of him, those beautiful hazel eyes soft and warm.

"Jamie!" Erin's insistent voice called.

"What's that?" wondered Mulder.

He peered down the hallway. "My little sister who keeps reminding me that she's waiting for her boyfriend to call." Sliding down the wall, Jamie made himself comfortable. "I'm going to take another walk into town this evening," he continued, "Just clear my head."

"I promise it will get better." Mulder took a deep breath. "You can't keep what your feeling bottled up inside forever, or you'll explode, believe me. And I don't want squashed Jamie all over the walls." He could actually hear Jamie smiling on the other end.

Jamie found himself suddenly saying things he swore he never would. He didn't want Mulder worried. "Mulder, I've been away from them for so long. I don't feel like I fit in any more, with them or any where."

Mulder's voice came back, husky and comforting. "Jamie, I know exactly how you're feeling right now. A year ago, I went through a life-altering experience and I thought I'd never fit in again. Try talking to your family. Having Scully and Skinner there for me, helped a lot. I'm still searching for answers, but I believe that we can find them together." Mulder decided to test the water further. "I'm the same guy you fell in love with. The same guy who fell in love with you. Just remember that and know that, even though we're apart right now, I'm not giving up."

Jamie's whole body suddenly felt hot and flushed. He wanted to tell Mulder everything he was feeling, his fears, his hopes, his dreams. But he drew back. If he ever hoped to find his feet again, he had to do it himself.

*****

Mulder sighed a long sigh and shook his head as he hung up the phone. He wished that Jamie would lean on him instead of trying to do everything himself.

'Jamie's convinced himself he'll be the only one to pick himself up', he thought, 'or so he thinks...'

Discarding his jeans and sweater, Mulder snapped the elastic on his midnight-blue boxer briefs. He stretched the length of his exhausted body across the bed and snuggled up with a pillow.

*****

With a dreamy look in his eyes, Jamie placed the telephone into Erin's outstretched hand. She nodded curtly and trotted back into her own room. Moving down the hall, Jamie felt a bit of his confidence returning. Mulder's advice had struck a chord. Maybe he could find it in himself to confront the chaos and confusion swirling inside, and try confiding in his mom again.

Chin high and at attention, Janine turned the corner and came face to face with her son. "Who was on the phone?" she asked, curiously.

"Mulder," he replied. "He called to check on me."

Janine eyed her son with an angry disapproval. Well, having a civilized conversation with his mother was obviously out of the question.

"What?" Jamie gave her a double-take. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"That guy hurt you!"

"You blame Mulder?" Jamie shook his head. He couldn't believe this. "Mother, mom -- he saved my life!"

"He's made our life a misery."

"What are you talking about?"

Taking him by the arm, Janine lead him toward the stairs. "When you disappeared, he didn't say a word to the police. If he'd came forward with just one little bit of information, you'd have been home sooner."

"There are a lot of things you don't know," Jamie replied, quietly. "It's not his fault. He lost his memory."

"Darling, why are you getting angry at me? I just want you to be safe. You're acting like a stranger--" Janine's voice faded. She immediately regretted her choice of words.

Jamie felt a sweet flame of anger roar in his heart. "That's right, it's just me. I'm the one who's different. I'm the one who's changed!"

"Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Then stop pretending like everything is fine when it's not."

Janine rubbed her tired eyes. "Jamie, it's very trying..."

"It's trying for you? What about me and everything I've been through? Have you stopped to ask once what really happened?"

"Have you thought for one second what I went through? I thought I'd lost you forever."

Irritated, Jamie narrowed his eyes. "Are you trying to make me feel guilty?"

"No, I want you to forgive me."

Jamie stalked downstairs, his emotions and adrenalin creating an explosive combination. "I would have never buried your memory. I would have never given up hope!"

Catching up with her son, Janine stepped in front of him. "Do you think it was that easy?" Her brow furrowed. "This must be that Mulder's influence, because my Jamie would never talk to me this way. We've never had any problems before..."

Jamie glared at her, the flame burning brighter. "When you say things like that, we definitely have a problem." Moving past her, he descended the stairs, turned and headed toward the foyer.

"Where are you going?" Janine insisted.

"To the cemetery." He'd put it off long enough. "I have to see it."

Janine froze. She knew exactly what Jamie was talking about. He was going to see his memorial. She hurried forward and grabbed her coat. "Well, I'm coming with you."

"No! I need to do this by myself."

Shrugging into a beige jacket, he opened the front door and left.

Janine could only watch, too angry and confused to stop him, as Jamie slammed the door behind him.

*****

Some time later, Peril, newly arrived from the airport, sat listening to her aunt tearfully related Jamie's outburst.

"Peril, I just don't know what to do," Janine finished, her eyes stained red.

"When I talked to Jamie last night, he said that things had been tense."

"Tense?" Janine was wounded. "I've done everything to make him feel welcome."

Peril felt sure her aunt had suffocated him to death. "Where did he go?"

*****

Jamie stood amongst the chalk-grey stones, freezing, numb, cheeks wet with tears. Cemeteries were either the coldest or warmest places on earth, depending on the season. Right now, he could feel the Siberian silence straight down to his toes.

JAMES McKENZIE GRAYSON 1964 - 1983 Beloved Son and Grandson

The surreal headstone sat next to his late father's, Frank Grayson. Jamie flashed back to 1983 and the secret Oxford cemetery he and Mulder had discovered. A grave had been prepared for him even then.

All he'd done since he'd been back was close his eyes, bite his lip and swallow every tear. He was trying so hard to stand his ground, be strong -- and act just plain normal. He still had so far to go, and he was the only one to help himself. 'If only Mulder were here...'

"I heard you were out here," Peril said, her shoes crunching the fallen leaves underfoot.

Jamie turned. "I'm glad you're here," he replied, his voice quiet. "I'm really glad you're here."

"I took an extra week's vacation." She gazed at her cousin carefully. "Jamie, what made you come out here? It's just going to upset you."

"No, I've moved past upset to pissed off!" he shouted. "I'm a good person and I could've had a damn great life."

"Jamie, why don't you tell me what happened?"

"I don't care any more. I just want a normal life, like I had before," he told her, then winced at the hurt on her face. "Peril, I'm sorry. I don't know how I can believe in anything any more. I just want..." his sad little voice trailed away.

"Mulder back?" she finished for him.

Jamie's head whipped up, and he stared past Peril to a clump of oak trees. "What's that? I thought someone was there."

Peril rolled her eyes. "Nice try. The distraction technique only worked when you were seven."

Jamie rocked back on his heels, a faraway look in his eyes. "I love Mulder so much," he said, "but I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Peril, it's been eighteen years! What if..."

Peril brushed her hair out of her eyes. She wasn't about to let Jamie continue with his doubts. "Sugar, I saw the kiss he gave you! I have never seen anyone look at you the way he does, and that's beautiful."

Jamie nodded, then pointed to his memorial marker. "Yes, and he can say he's in love with a guy who died in 1983."

"Well, sure, but then he can smile proudly and say, Yes! I am a necrophiliac!" she told him, cheekily.

"Peril!" Jamie burst out laughing, and it felt wonderful. She joined in and he grimaced. "Excuse me, but I have issues."

His older cousin wrapped a warm arm round his shoulders, and lead him away from the cemetery. "I know you do. I just want you loved, sweet boy." She pressed a kiss to his cheek, then winked. "Come on, we really need to get you laid!"

*****

After walking around the block, the two cousins returned to the Hunter home. Jamie's spirits had lifted since Peril's arrival, plus an odd little feeling he had that...

His thoughts were broken by the sound of raised voices in the living room. Jamie didn't even bother to take off his jacket. He walked to the threshold and saw his mother sitting, patiently listening as her husband paced up and down before her.

"Janine, it makes no sense!" Marc was saying. "He turns up with no explanation. He's a spoiled brat if he could disappear for eighteen years without leaving one message. Are you trying to tell me he was whisked away by an U.F.O.?!"

Peril cleared her throat, and Marc came to a standstill; the conversation ended abruptly. "That was harsh," she said.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Jamie told Marc, angrily.

Wringing her hands, Janine swiftly moved forward. "Jamie, we were just..."

"I know. I heard." Jamie's piercing eyes flashed electric green at his stepfather. "I was not abducted by aliens, trust me!" He looked thoughtful. "But I could probably introduce you to someone who was."

Marc folded his arms and eyed his stepson up and down. "Well, listen to the mouth on you!"

"I would have done anything to come home!" Jamie exclaimed. "I almost died."

"Are you for real?"

Jamie exhaled and looked heavenwards. "I can't believe I'm having this conversation." He turned and marched back out into the foyer.

Shooting daggers at Marc, Janine hurried after her son. "No, Jamie, wait! You just can't come into the middle of something and assume you know what's going on."

"Isn't that just what I've done?"

Janine started to protest. "Jamie, you know--"

He whirled around, and the pain in his eyes hit Janine like a cold slap. "No, you know what? I need some space!"

His mother continued after him, but Peril held her arm. "No, leave him be. He needs to be alone."

Reluctantly, Janine acquiesced.

Frustrated and hurt beyond words, Jamie traveled down the foyer, across an oriental rug, past a handcarved hat-stand, and opened the front door, not caring where he was going.

He gasped. An elderly woman in her early seventies, dressed to the nines, stood on the front step in mid-knock.

"Honey," she began, her voice overcome with emotion.

"Grams," Jamie said, the tears he'd held in breaking free. He immediately embraced his grandmother. "It's so good to see you."

Grams hugged him back fiercely. After several moments, she pulled back and held his face in her hands. She couldn't believe it. Her lost grandson, standing before her, alive!

"Let me look at you," she exhaled. "Are you all right? You're not hurt, are you?"

Jamie shook his head. "No." He hugged her close again. "I've missed you so much."

"Oh, darling!" Grams led him into the foyer and sat him down on a little forest green bench. She gently dashed away the tears flowing from his eyes. "What's going on?"

Jamie sighed. It would be a relief to confide in his Grams -- they had always been exceptionally close, and were so much alike in several important ways.

"I'm just trying to do what people except," he explained, breaking down. "I'm trying to be myself. Why isn't that enough?"

Grams laid his head on her shoulder and rocked him back and forth, like she used to when he was small. "Oh my heart, it's enough. It's wonderful. I would not accept that I might have to live out the rest of my life without you."

Sitting up, Jamie wiped a hand across his flushed face. "I'm sorry."

"My heavens, you don't have to apologize for anything. You've come home and found so many changes."

Jamie groaned, and started pacing the hall. "You don't know the half of it." In one breath he explained how stressful things had been since his return.

"I can't even begin to understand what happened to you," she confessed. "We've all had an awful lot to digest. You've got to make so many adjustments." She reached out and pulled her grandson down to sit beside her once again.

"Grams, you always said that things happen for a reason, right?" Jamie searched her face for an answer. "What did I do wrong? I keep trying to figure it out."

She stroked his hair soothingly. "Listen to me, darling. Everything's going to be okay. We will fix this." Jamie looked up, and saw the deep concern in her emerald eyes. "I'm so worried about you."

Look what I'm doing, upsetting her, too, Jamie thought. Quickly he pulled himself together, and wrapped his arms around her. "You don't have to worry about me any more," he said, trying to put some strength back in his voice. "I'm home now."

"To my eternal relief and joy." She sat back and caressed his cheek. "Now, where's that young man who found you?"

Jamie issued another deep sigh. "He wanted to give me time to reconnect with you all. I want to do the right thing, but I also want to be with him." His eyes suddenly lit up. "Grams, he's such a great guy. He's the most incredible man I've ever known."

Grams nodded, and patted his hand. "Logic and reason fly right out the window when love gets involved. When the time is right for you to be together, you'll know."

With a lopsided grin, Jamie said, "Thank you."

Taking him by the arm, Grams led him toward the front door. "Come on, let's move it!"

"Wait, where are we going?" Jamie asked, confused.

"You're certainly not getting any rest around here. You're coming back to my place, and I'm not taking no for an answer!"

[Next Episode: Angel of Mine]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing Chapter Five: Someone To Watch Over Me  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: October 27th, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum  
E-MAIL:   
FEEDBACK: Yes, please! Always welcome!  
RATING: NC17 (Chapter 5 - finally!!)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination.  
BETA READER: Bertina  
MEGA SPECIAL THANKS: Goddess Michele  
DEDICATION: For Neige and Vyper

* * *

Chapter Five: Someone To Watch Over Me

A chilled wind rustled the fading leaves of the large pecan trees ringing Josephine Bailey's home. The bright taxi pulled up into the lane and deposited its passengers on the rocky driveway. Grams owed a hefty fine from the airport drive, coupled with the stop at her daughter's.

Jamie breathed in the night air, and gazed at the familiar yellow paintwork. The one thing that had not changed. It was a comforting sight after the rather strenuous day. Taking the suitcases for his grandmother, Jamie followed her up the front steps. A security light detected their presence and switched itself on, temporarily blinding them. Fishing out her house keys, Grams led the way inside.

"Now, where is that lamp?" she wondered aloud, feeling around in the darkness. When it flickered on, she found Jamie staring around the room, a haunted look in his eyes.

Jamie felt as if he'd stepped back in time. Just about everything in the den looked exactly as he remembered: the green plaid sofa, the antique dresser complete with television sitting on top, the orange rocking chair, the homemade shelves packed with the children's books he and Peril used to read.

Moving closer, Grams insistently took one of the cases. She simply could not stop looking at Jamie. In her heart, she'd always known he was alive somewhere. She just wasn't prepared for his appearance. Looking like the mirror image of the day he left home in 1983. It was quite a shock. She had been expecting a slightly older Jamie, maybe with darker hair and a few lines beginning around the eyes. He didn't look a day over nineteen!

Well, frankly, she didn't care. Just having him alive and standing in her parlor, made up for the shock.

"Jamie, do you want to get settled into the guest room?" she asked.

Lost in thought, he blinked at her. "Sure." He followed her through the little kitchen and up a narrow flight of stairs. "I bet mom's gonna have a fit that I came home with you," he opined grimly.

A soft humming sound came back, which always meant that Grams was seriously thinking about or heavily disapproving of something.

Opening the first door on the left, she turned on an overhead light. Jamie held his breath. The guest room still had its blue shag carpet, and the huge four-poster bed. Grams walked over to a window seat, to crack open the window. Jamie's favorite star-shaped wind chimes tinkled in the light breeze.

"Some fresh air," Grams told him.

Jamie smiled. "Grams, I know you must be done in from your trip."

"Nonsense." She shook her head. "But if you want to rest for a little bit, that's fine."

Jamie nodded silently, and moved toward the window seat, somehow drawn to it. This was the place where he'd daydream as a child. Through the darkness, he could just make out the lake some distance in the backyard, and he immediately thought, 'Gosh, how many summers did I spend leaping off that dock?'

"You know, I think I'd like to take a walk outside," he said, turning and heading for the door.

"Do you want me to go with you?" suggested Grams, not really wanting to let Jamie out of her sight.

Cocking his head, Jamie paused and gave her a soft kiss on the cheeks. "I'll be just fine, Grams."

"All right, darling." She watched him as he stopped again on the threshold. He turned with a crooked smile. "Thanks for everything," he said, and then he was gone.

*****

Crickets chirped as Jamie walked down to the dock. He sat on the edge and gazed up at the silver moon framed by bright stars in the cloudless sky. Shivering a bit, he watched his breath float away.

All at once the wind ceased, and the nighttime seranade stopped. A light chill ran up and down Jamie's spine. He had the feeling that he wasn't alone, like someone was watching him. It was the same sense he'd had at the cemetery with Peril. He wasn't scared because the feeling was comforting.

Just as quickly, a breeze ran over him, and the crickets were joined by a trio of bullfrogs. Jamie felt at peace here. He stared out onto the flat surface of the water then up at the sky. Maybe someone up there was watching over him. He hoped so.

Mulder's voice floated to him on the wind. He wanted so much to help, but Jamie had resolved to deal with everything himself. He stopped looking out into the cool, dreamy waters. The answers were not there. Not in the water, but within the depths of himself.

*****

In the next week, Peril moved in across the hall from Jamie. Although the rift within him was slowly healing, he still felt disconnected from his family.

Peril was starting to believe Marc's comment that her cousin had been taken by aliens, and only recently returned to Earth. Cultural references went right over his head. One evening, while eating grilled cheese sandwiches with Grams and watching MTV, he peered at the screen and wondered aloud, "What's with all these boy bands?"

Thinking it would do him some good, Peril enrolled them both in a Tae-Bo class at the local gym. At one point she had to reassure Jamie that Tae-Bo was just a fancy-schmancy name for kickboxing. After an initial bout of nerves, Jamie entered into it with enthusiasm, taking out his frustrations on punching bags. He was getting good, too good in fact, as Peril had to pay for damages after he knocked the sawdust out of a bag one morning!

She was curious when he just shook off the incident, and repeated, "I'm ready. I'm ready for anything they throw at me."

His relationship with his mother remained strained, to say the least. Their conversations were short and terse. Peril finally decided to stick her nose in and help one morning after Tae-Bo.

Peril, dressed in a black and white tank top with purple sweats, walked into the kitchen with the morning newspaper in her right hand. Behind her, Jamie in a grey tee shirt and shorts, breathed heavily.

"I mean how do I make her understand? She's got it in her mind that Mulder was the cause of my disappearance -- which is so totally wrong!" He walked toward a cabinet and reached to get a glass.

Peril opened the refrigerator to get a bottle of orange juice.

"And Mulder, who is still wonderful, great and drop dead gorgeous," he continued, moving to the breakfast table where Peril was pouring a glass of orange juice, "just wants to give me time."

Peril looked up. "Do you realize that you've been fussing ever since we left the gym?"

"Really? Well, I haven't been *fussing* -- I've just been talking."

"Non-stop." Peril replaced the bottle of orange juice in the refrigerator.

"Well, so, you're my cousin. I have a problem. This is the part where you are supposed to be understanding."

"Jamie, I am understanding. You're in love with a great guy, your mom is being unreasonable, and you're dealing with some trauma that you don't want to talk about."

Jamie rolled his eyes.

"I get it. Totally! But what I don't get, is why you won't let me help you."

"Help me?"

Peril drank some juice. "I could always take Mulder off your hands." She smiled wickedly.

Jamie smirked and sighed. "Hey! That's not an option!"

"Look, you're stuck. You've got too much on your mind. You need help...assistance... a mediator."

"Like I don't already have 'in desperate need of therapy' tattooed across my forehead."

Peril wrinkled her nose. "No! What I mean is, why not let me deal with Aunt Janine. That way, you can concentrate on feeling better. Besides, I won't charge you a hundred bucks an hour."

Jamie sighed. "No, Peril! I can't let you do that."

He walked away. Peril turned her head. "Why not?!"

"Because... it will only make things worse. And I can't expect someone else to solve my personal problems."

"But that's the beauty, you don't have to, I'll do it for you," she said eagerly, then noted his determined look. "I just want you to feel better sooner, Jamie. How can you do that when your mom's breathing down your neck? When everything's fixed, that means you and Mulder can get back together and all's right with the world!" How could he argue when everything was so clear?

"I said I'll handle it, Peril!"

And that was that. Mr. Stubborn insisted on worrying with everything himself. Even though he seemed to have perked up, a part of him remained closed off. The only time the old, familiar Jamie appeared was whenever Mulder called and they would talk for hours. But Peril knew that Jamie was not discussing what ever had happened to him, what was really bothering him. That was a closed subject.

*****

Mulder couldn't sleep. He got up off the bed and went to stare out the window at the moon, half-obscured by steamy clouds. Jamie dominated his thoughts. Mulder missed him painfully. His heart ached with longing. Chewing on his bottom lip, he leaned on the sill and closed his eyes. His body resonated with the agony of being apart from him.

He'd called Jamie earlier, and they'd joked and laughed, and Jamie seemed to be getting his equilibrium back, but Mulder sensed that there was still something troubling him.

Jamie alone could put an end to this with a simple decision. 'He'd better make up his mind soon,' Mulder thought, reaching under his shirt and rubbing his chest, 'before I implode!'

Mulder turned and eyed the telephone sitting solemnly beside the bed. He couldn't stand it! He had to hear Jamie's voice again. Climbing onto the bed, he reached over and began to dial the now familiar number.

After a couple of rings, an exhausted voice answered. "Hello?"

"Hey, did I wake you?" asked Mulder, feeling guilty.

"No, I was up," Jamie reassured him.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, just an attack of insomnia," he sighed. "What about you?"

Mulder licked his lips. "I'm missing you."

Jamie's breathing went up a notch, which Mulder had worked out meant that he was smiling. Thinking about the grin spreading across his face sent electric shocks through Mulder's system. Instinctively, he reached down to his boxer briefs, already beginning to bulge outward.

"I was thinking about you, too."

"Oh, yeah?" Mulder's voice became thick and husky. His hand disappeared into the tight confines of his underwear, wrapping it around the warm hardness of his shaft. "I wish you were here right now."

Again, came the sound of Jamie smiling. "What else do you wish?"

'Mmm, did he have to make his voice so teasing?' Mulder thought as he slowly stroked up and down. "I wish I was holding you in my arms," he continued.

"So do I," Jamie replied.

His statement sparked a glimmer of hope in Mulder's heart. He knew that Jamie was still ajusting to his new life and wasn't quite ready for more changes. Maybe things would be different soon?

"I can't believe I'm still awake," continued Jamie, his voice shaking Mulder out of his reverie. He could hear Jamie leaning forward. "I spent most of the morning and the best part of the afternoon at the gym. You'd think I could get a little sleep."

Mulder nodded, a deep groan escaping his lips at the thought of a hot and sweaty after-workout Jamie. The grip on his cock intensified while he imagined kissing Jamie all over, running his mouth down his neck, washing all of his troubles away.

Pressing his head back against the pillows, Mulder cradled the receiver on his shoulder, and caressed his rock hard penis. Jamie continued talking and Mulder mumbled short words of agreement. His body tingled and felt as if it were on fire. The sound of Jamie's seductive Southern voice alone would send him over the edge at any moment.

He could picture those delicious lips taking his throbbing cock all the way inside, Jamie's tongue boldly licking every inch. Mulder started to pant.

Jamie paused in the middle of telling him about how he'd started to jog to and from town. "Mulder, are you all right?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Oh, yes..." he exhaled. "Please... keep talking..." Thrusting wildly into his clenched fist, Mulder pictured Jamie's beautiful blonde head sliding up and down, making love to him...

With a low moan of pleasure, Mulder arched his back and he came with tremendous force. The telephone slipped from his shoulder, and he lay on the bed for several moments just catching his breath, the vision of Jamie atop him burned into his mind's eye.

Jamie!

Mulder reached down and retrieved the phone in a trembling hand. "Jamie," he panted, "I love you." Wishing him a good night and sweet dreams, Mulder said good-bye.

Exhaling, he stared up at the ceiling. He was brimming, nearly overflowing with sexual desire. And not just physical need, there was also an emotional need there, an urge of the heart, to touch Jamie, to love him, to make him Fox Mulder's forever.

*****

By week's end, Jamie seemed be doing a lot better. He went for regular walks, spent lots of time writing in a blank book Grams bought him, and was quickly becoming the star of the gym.

Peril constantly dropped hints for Jamie to catch about reuniting with Mulder. She knew she was getting closer to her goal the night she waltzed into the living room, with a glass of tea in her hand, to find Jamie sitting on the floor, his legs splayed out beneath the coffee table. Fanned out before him were several white forms.

"Hi, Sweetie. What's all this?" She picked a paper at random and scanned it. "College applications? Jamie, this is huge."

He nodded. "Biggest thing I've done since I've been back."

Sitting on the couch, Peril selected the one which seemed to hold her cousin's interest the most. It was for Georgetown University in Washington, D.C., which was where Fox Mulder lived. As she opened her mouth to comment, Jamie turned and continued. "I never finished and now I have the chance to."

Peril narrowed her eyes at his suddenly flushed face. "Jamie, are you okay?" She reached out and felt his forehead. "Honey, you're burning up."

"I know, tell me about it." Jamie had always been a little hot natured, but the fever had started a few days ago, the night of Mulder's husky-voiced call to be precise.

Peril hurried into the kitchen and came back with a a wet towel. "Sweetie, um, I think you need to call a doctor."

He grimaced at the thought of going to the doctor. "No, I don't feel sick. I feel hot... aroused." His cheeks went warm. Peril's eyes widened as she handed the towel to Jamie. "It's just... these dreams."

"Still having nightmares?" He'd actually confided in her one afternoon about them.

"Uh... Yes, but the one last night... it was a sex dream."

Jamie had her attention.

"It's not like I haven't dreamt about sex before," he quickly explained, "because I have, you know. But this... this was incredibly hot. It felt real. Soft music, candles, satin sheets..."

Peril took the towel from him and started wiping it across her own forehead. "Alrighty. I get the point."

"But then the nightmares started up again. Each and every night, Peril. What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you. Your dreams are a metaphor for extreme sexual frustration. Trust me, I should know." She winked. "Now can I guess who starred in it with you?"

"Oh, look, here's Grams!"

Grams walked inside, ever on the go. The woman could not sit still to save her soul. If she wasn't outside doing yard work, she was hopping in the car to run errands.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, eyeing both her grandchildren curiously. When Jamie and Peril wore those same expressions when they were younger, you never could tell.

"Nothing," Jamie smiled, getting to his feet. "Gotta go!" He blushed straight through, thinking that his Grams had overheard his sex talk. As quickly as he could, he hustled up the stairs.

Peril just laughed and motioned for her grandmother to join her. "Wait till I tell you..."

*****

From his vantage point on the window seat, Jamie meditatively stared out at the lake. The moon created little silver crescents across its placid surface. Jamie exhaled. It was his heart's deepest wish to be with Mulder again. He would give anything to have his gentle teasing, his advice again...

Jamie's skin burned hotter as he imagined how much nicer that advice would be coming directly from Mulder's pouty mouth, rather than a phone. To be able to gaze deeply into those soft, warm eyes.

The feeling of arousal slammed into him, mixed with a powerful, intimate love that Jamie had been holding back because of his fears. A hint of sweet incense rose up out of nowhere. The wind chimes sang, although there was no breeze, and Jamie felt a comforting, almost mystical feeling flowing over him.

Somehow he knew that everything was going to be okay.

He wanted -- no, he needed -- to put the horror of his possession behind him once and for all. It had already taken away too much time, and he'd spent enough of it brooding and being away from the person he loved the most. He was going to get back what he once had, and as the Wicked Witch said, "Woe to those who try to stop me!"

He resolved himself. Tomorrow morning, he would call Mulder. He would either ask him to come here, or Jamie would offer to fly to him. One way or another, they were going to be together again.

*****

Dreamily, Jamie came downstairs the next morning having worked out everything he wanted to say in the shower. His heart throbbed excitedly. A rich smell of coffee wafted up to meet him, which meant that Grams and Peril had been up for some time. Pushing up the sleeves of his blue sweatshirt, Jamie headed toward the kitchen.

He didn't actually have Mulder's phone number, because Mulder had always been the one to call him. 'Somehow he seems to know when I need him the most,' Jamie thought. He needed to dial information first.

Then the telephone rang.

"Hello?" Jamie braced for a possible long, scolding conversation with his mother. Who else would call this early?

"Hey, you!"

It was Mulder! "Y-you must be psychic!"

He laughed. "Why do you say that?"

"Because I was just getting ready to call you."

"Well then, I saved you a long-distance charge," Mulder replied. "You sound good."

Jamie nodded. "I'm feeling a lot better. Actually, much better than I have in a while." He took a deep breath. "Mulder, there's something I have to tell you--"

The doorbell rang.

Aargh! Jamie mentally cursed. "Hold on, someone's at the door."

Another insistent chime echoed back. Holding the phone on his shoulder, Jamie peeked inside the kitchen but there was no sign of anyone. He walked around to the stairs and called, "Peril? Grams?"

"Why don't you go answer it," Mulder suggested. "I can wait."

But Jamie couldn't. He was bursting at the seams to tell Mulder everything he was feeling. When neither his cousin or grandmother responded, Jamie stalked toward the front door. 'Where could they be?'

"Looks like I'm gonna have to. Now where was I?" He reached for the brass handle, turned it and opened the door.

"You were about to tell me something important."

Floored, Jamie looked at the portable phone in his hand, then in surprised shock at the person standing on the doorstep. "Mulder?!"

He smiled back. "Jamie, it's Fox, remember?" The moment was priceless. Mulder's heart sped up seeing Jamie standing there in disbelief, breathing deeply, eyes wide and colored tropical green.

"How did you--"

With a lopsided grin, Mulder waved his cell phone.

The phone in Jamie's hand slipped through his fingers. A smile stretched from ear to ear. "Oh, I don't care how. I'm just so happy to see you!" He jumped into Mulder's arms, hugging him tightly. Mulder placed a gentle kiss on his parted lips.

A voice cleared its throat. Then repeated the sound again. Reluctantly breaking contact, Jamie turned to find both Peril and Grams grinning at them from the stairs.

"Glad you could make it!" Peril waved at Mulder.

Jamie looked from her to Mulder and back again. "Wait a minute... you knew about this?"

Peril displayed mock-innocence. "Who me? Never! What about you Grams?"

"Don't look at me," she chuckled.

Jamie squinted his eyes at them.

"Well, don't just let that handsome young man freeze out there, Jamie!" Grams called. "Bring him in."

Mulder gave Jamie a knowing look. Holding Jamie in his arms, Mulder could've been in the middle of Antarctica and he'd have been sweating.

Sitting in the parlor, Grams immediately engaged Mulder in conversation. She insisted that he have a snack and something to drink. At one point, she even got out old photo albums and Jamie wanted to hide under a rock when she showed Mulder the baby picture of him running around without a diaper!

Jamie sat back in his chair and stretched. Mulder tried unsuccessfully to keep his eyes off Jamie's chest. 'He's obviously been working out,' Mulder thought, his mouth watering.

"Will you walk by the lake with me?" asked Jamie, anxious to be alone.

"Sure, I'd love to."

Excusing themselves, they left the high-ceiligned parlor, walked through the kitchen, and out onto the back porch.

Jamie stood for a moment, just gazing at Mulder, illuminated in the sunlight. Mulder titled his head, and pursed his lips. "Are you going into trance?"

Being next to Mulder, that was easy to do. "No," he said, quietly, and a little sound came up from Jamie's throat. "I'm just..." he murmured. "I can't believe you're actually here." His hair fell forward, making him look even more like a little boy.

Mulder held out his arms into which Jamie moved and then they were face to face. "I'm glad to be here holding my angel," he whispered.

Their lips met, and Mulder could feel Jamie's nervous heart pounding rapidly against his own. Then he felt the long loneliness that tortured them both melt away.

[Next Episode: Saturate Me]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing Chapter Six: Stella Maris  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: October 29th, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum  
E-MAIL:   
RATING: NC17 (Chapter 6)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons. DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination.  
BETA THANKS: Bertina  
SPECIAL THANKS: Goddess Michele  
DEDICATION: For Neige and Vyper

* * *

Chapter Six: Stella Maris

Mulder and Jamie strolled along the footpath, hand in hand.

"You know, I can picture you growing up here," said Mulder, breathing in the warm autumn air. "I've always wanted to settle down in a place like this."

Tall reeds growing beside the lake swished past their legs. Jamie led him onto the dock. "Peril and I used to spend every summer here." He pointed out into the water. "Grams used to say we were gonna sprout fins from swimming so much."

Sitting down, Mulder immediately removed his shoes and socks, and rolled up his jeans. Jamie smiled and did the same. Soon, they were both dangling their legs over the edge, playing in the surprisingly warm water.

Mulder turned and just gazed at his face, lit up by the sun. "Now I wanna hear what you haven't been telling me."

"Basically, I still feel a little screwed."

"Screwed?"

Jamie gave a short laugh. "Oh, I've been hanging around Peril way too much." He sighed, not really wanting to get into this. He knew if he started, it would all end in tears. "It's just my family. They all feel bad that I don't feel better." He searched for a way to express his feelings. "My mother wants me to be the same person who left home eighteen years ago, and I just can't."

"Expectations can get too high, you know?" Mulder put an arm round his shoulders. "Plus, you're being way too hard on yourself."

Jamie nodded and looked up into his eyes. "You're the one thing in my crazy world that makes any sense."

Mulder's grin just about split his face. Jamie leaned into him and closed his eyes. He felt comforted, safe. It was the same feeling he had during his walks when he knew someone was watching over him. God, it felt so good.

"I don't wanna talk about my mom and her hang-ups, and I don't wanna talk about the past," Jamie stated, leaning into Mulder. "I want this time to be about you and me."

"Mmm, sounds good." Mulder wrapped his arms around him. "I want to start right now."

Jamie turned to look at him. "Do you have any suggestions?" he laughed, delightedly. "My calendar is wide open."

"When's the last time you went skating?" Mulder suddenly asked.

"What? Huh?"

Getting to his feet, Mulder pulled Jamie up. Their wet feet splashed onto the dry dock. "C'mon!" he exclaimed. "After that, then we'll head on over--"

Jamie held a finger to his lips. "Shh, don't jinx it."

Mulder's smile broadened. Jamie was as superstitious as ever. Mulder held him close, their noses touching. "There's nothing but good times ahead for both of us," he promised.

*****

"Are you sure this is safe?" Jamie wondered, eyeing the jet black rollerblade in his hand, and the one already on his foot, skeptically. It didn't look a thing like the skates he remembered, in fact it resembled more of an iceskate.

Mulder finished lacing up his own, and grinned. "Of course." He took the one from Jamie and examined it. "Didn't you know these were aerodynamically designed with alien technology for maximum speed and efficency?"

He said it so straight-faced that Jamie thought he was serious. Then he burst out laughing. "Give me that!"

Sliding it on, he reached out and Mulder graciously took his hand and helped him up. Almost instantly, Jamie's feet flew out from under him and he fell back into Mulder's waiting arms.

"I've got you!" Mulder's husky voice told him. Jamie felt a shiver run through him. Picking Jamie up, he turned him around to face him."I've always got you," he whispered, reassuringly.

Keeping a firm grip on Mulder's arm, Jamie followed him past a group of kids playing indoor basketball --which Mulder eyed enviously -- and out onto the slippery skating rink floor. At that moment, the DJ up in his glass booth decided to play a Genesis song. As Phil Collins' mellow tone echoed out around them, Jamie seriously wanted to forget skating and fall into Mulder's strong arms again.

*****

The mid-afternoon sun warmed Grams' front porch, and Mulder and Jamie stood there gazing into one another eyes. On the drive back, Mulder had wanted to crawl into Jamie's lap so badly, like he'd been hit with a raging fever. At one point he thought he was going to have to literally sit on his hands!

"That was the best time I've had in like... forever!" exclaimed Jamie.

"Same here," Mulder grinned back. Being with Jamie made him feel like a teenager all over again, with the added libido. "And it's not over yet."

Jamie arched an eyebrow. "No?"

"I want you to put on your something stylin'," he pursed his lips in thought, making a delicious sucking sound in the process, "something dark and sexy, because I'm taking you out tonight." Mulder reached out and began to kiss him. "Tonight then?" he asked.

"Tonight," Jamie agreed, slightly dazed. He watched Mulder move down the steps and away toward his rental car. Jamie sank against the front door. A dreamy smile played across his tingling lips.

>From within the Lumina, Mulder smiled as Jamie went back inside. He leaned his head back and took a couple of short, deep breaths. 'We're so damn compatible, it's mind-blowing,' he thought. 'We fit perfectly together, and I'm more sure about that than I ever was. We've got everything two people need to make it together.'

Starting the engine, Mulder pulled out of the driveway, determined to make this a night neither one of them would ever forget.

*****

>From her place on the sofa, Peril rushed into the hall as soon as Jamie appeared. There was a glazed look in his eye and he seemed to be a little out of it.

"Jamie, so how did it go?"

"Hmm?"

"That good, huh?"

He nodded, off in orbit. "Um-hum. We have a date tonight."

Peril folded her arms. "Sounds like you two are becoming an item again." She gave herself a mental pat on the back.

"We're working on it," he grinned, his enthusiasm boiling over. "We're getting stronger, Peril. Stronger than ever. I mean we're like--" He caught his breath, trying to still the butterflies in his stomach. "I'm afraid... I don't wanna say it!"

Shaking her head, Peril chuckled. "You're something else, Jamie."

"Okay! I might not be home for breakfast in the morning." He leaned in and whispered, "Is that too soon?"

Could he get any cuter? Peril wondered. "Honey, that's wonderful!" She gripped his arm. "I'm amazed you've been able to restrain yourself this long!" Leading him toward the stairs, Peril pointed. "Now go get ready."

*****

Walking down the hallway, Peril checked her watch. It was half past seven and nearly time for Mulder to pick up Jamie. She went to knock on his bedroom door when her cousin's voice echoed back from inside.

"Every time I see you, I love you even more. I can't imagine my life without you."

Peril lightly knocked and peeked her head inside. She found him standing before a dresser mirror, seemingly talking to himself.

"Jamie?" He turned with a start. "Were you just telling yourself how much you love love you?"

"What? Um, no." His cheeks turned pink and he broke out into a nervous grin. "It's not like that at all."

Peril nodded knowingly. She'd heard Jamie practising what he wanted to tell Mulder earlier that morning. She eyed him. "Hey, you'd better get ready!" He was still wearing his bulky sweatshirt and jeans.

"I can't decide what to wear!" he groaned, motioning toward the closet.

"Oh, sweetie! A gay man and he can't find anything to wear? Must be the Southerner in you!" Peril hurried over and flicked through the clothing assortment. Within minutes she'd picked out a perfect outfit.

"You're going to look so hot in this!" She held up a silk, light blue shirt, dark tie with matching blazer and pants to him. She frowned at his expression. "What's up?"

Jamie took the offered clothes. "It's been a really long time since I've been out on a date with a really great guy..." That was an understatement! "What do people do nowadays?" He was seriously nervous. After all, he was eighteen years out of practice.

Turning around while he began to dress, Peril pressed a finger to her chin, deep in thought. "Well, there's something called going out to dinner for one..."

"Wow! Really?" He exclaimed in mock-surprise while slipping into the shirt.

"And I've even heard that some people even go out to the movies."

Jamie pulled up and fastened his slacks. "Man, I didn't know you could have so much fun."

"It's a dying art."

"Okay, you can look now." He finished tying his tie and spread his arms wide. "It's the 21st century Jamie."

Peril turned, and the sight of her handsome cousin took her breath away. "Jamie, Mulder's going to melt when he sees you!"

"You think?" He walked over to gaze at his image in the mirror. He wasn't too sure of his new haircut, which Peril had insisted on. He ran a hand through it.

"I'm positive," she said, straightening his tie. Handing him some cologne, Peril stepped back as he dabbed a little on his neck. She still couldn't get over how young he looked, and she wished she knew his secret. As she was about to ask, the doorbell rang.

"That's him!" Jamie said, full of excitement.

Grabbing the blazer, he put it on and hurried downstairs, hotly pursued by Peril. They stopped mid-way to find Mulder standing in the hall talking to Grams. Jamie completely forgot to breathe. Mulder looked too gorgeous for words in his elegant black, fitted suit.

Mulder looked up and his eyes glittered the moment he saw Jamie. "Wow, you look like an angel," he said, meeting Jamie at the bottom of the stairs.

Jamie blushed. "You keep it up with this angel stuff, and I'm gonna sprout wings," he whispered.

They stood like that for several moments, frozen in time.

Grams' voice broke through. "Just let me get a picture of you two!"

"Grams!"

"Come on, get close to him!" Grams motioned with her hand, and Mulder, ever the sport, pulled Jamie close and smiled.

Mulder leaned in and told him, "I have something sweet up my sleeve for dessert."

This had the intended effect as Jame grinned. "I bet." Blinded by the flash, Jamie blinked. "Let's go," he said, taking Mulder's arm. He crinkled his nose at Peril and Grams who were wearing wide smiles.

"You two have fun!" Grams called.

"We won't wait up!" Peril added.

After the door closed behind them, Peril turned to Grams. "We did it. It's really happening!"

*****

It hadn't taken very long for Mulder and Jamie to be seated at the Stella Maris. Sitting across from each other, Mulder smiled at Jamie in the candlelight. He was in awe of the beautiful restaurant which also doubled as a hotel upstairs, which just happened to be where the former FBI agent was staying.

Painted along the dining room walls were celestial landscapes of ships sailing wide blue seas, a multitude of stars dotting the deep indigo of twilight, and a lighthouse to guide the way.

Mulder gazed lovingly across at Jamie, who so reminded him of a precious creature from the heavens. "I'd love to know what you're thinking," Mulder said.

"Hmm..." Jamie considered. "I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours."

Mulder sat back with a smile. "Okay, go ahead!"

"Oh, no," Jamie chuckled, shaking his head. "You go first."

"Me?" Mulder grinned, and leaned forward. "That's easy. I was thinking that of all the places in the world to be, I'm exactly where I want to be tonight."

"With me?" Jamie whispered, hopefully.

"Yeah," mouthed Mulder.

"Is that unusual for you to be where you wanna be?"

Mulder pretended to consider. "Well, the last time I felt like this was back in Oxford."

Jamie practically glowed. "Well, I was going to say that I really like being someone's angel."

A waiter glided forward to take their drink order. When Jamie chose something off the wine list, the waiter insisted on seeing his I.D. Of course, he didn't have one, which resulted in Mulder trying to hide his smile at Jamie's dilemma.

"I'll just have a bottled water," grumbled Jamie.

The waiter turned to Mulder. "And your usual, sir?"

"Ah, um..." Mulder stammered.

Jamie leaned across the table and stared accusingly at him. "Your usual?"

Mulder handed back the wine list and waved the young waiter away. "Yeah, thanks."

"Mulder?" Jamie drummed his fingers.

"Oh, okay, I'm busted." He held his hands up in surrender. "Jamie, don't be mad at me. I couldn't just let you walk out of my life. I had to come here and make sure that you were all right."

Jamie looked taken aback. Paging Charlie Chan! He realized in that instant... the feeling that someone was watching over him was true! Mulder had been here the whole time. That's how this deviously gorgeous man had known exactly when to call!

Propping his elbows up on the table, Jamie cupped his chin in his hands and peered intently at Mulder. "So that was you at the cemetery, and that first night down by the dock," he began, with a twinkle in his eyes.

"Guilty as charged," he replied, nervously playing with his napkin. "Saying good-bye to you in San Francisco was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. Peril suggested that I come here with her. And I'm so glad that I did." Mulder turned on his puppy dog eyes, willing them to work their magic.

Jamie simply melted. How could he be mad? Mulder had given him the space he'd needed, and stepped in when the time was right.

"You've been watching over me this whole time," Jamie said, "and I still don't know what you've been up to for the past eighteen years."

"Well, if there's anything you want to know..." Mulder quickly added, but Jamie broke in.

"It's not so much knowing... as experiencing," he explained. Mulder peered quizzically. Jamie took a deep breath and added, "I mean it's not as if I were a psychic disembodied head or a fluke man or..."

Mulder stared in open-mouthed astonishment. "Jamie, you..."

"Heard every word you said to me in the hospital," he finished, nodding enthusiastically. "I especially liked the one about Big Blue. I saw him when I went to the lake one summer with the school."

Mulder burst out laughing. "Jamie, you never cease to amaze me."

"You should really write it all down. It would make one heck of a book."

He looked up at the ceiling, considering. He could just see it now: *The Paranoid Profiler*. "Maybe when I'm old and grey," he conceded.

Jamie shook his head. "You'll never be old."

Mulder slowly reached out to squeeze his hand when a high-pitched voice interrupted. "Jamie Grayson!"

He turned in his chair, and it took him several moments to recognize the woman rushing forward. "Oh my gosh!" he gasped.

She was on the short side, with frosted hair and was wearing a pink fuzzy sweater and dark slacks. Mulder politely stood as the stranger hugged Jamie.

"I heard you were back," she gushed. "I still can't believe it."

Jamie smiled and detached himself. "Mulder, this is Bettie Connor."

"Simpson, now," she corrected.

Jamie looked curious. "You married..." He struggled to remember. "Bryant?"

The waiter returned with the drinks, and Mulder decided to sit back down while the two old friends chatted.

"That's right," Bettie smiled.

'Oh boy!' Jamie thought. 'Those two couldn't stand in each other in high school, and they've gotten married?!'

She eyed him from top to bottom. "Jamie, you haven't changed one bit."

He gave Mulder a sideways glance. "Believe me, I've changed."

"No, I mean you look exactly the same."

Here we go again! "Well, being possessed for the past eighteen years does wonders for the complexion."

Mulder almost choked on his wine.

Bettie didn't know whether Jamie was joking or not. "Oh, well, um..." She started to back away. "It was nice to see you again."

"You, too." Jamie sat back down, wearing a smirk. "See what affect you have on me," he told Mulder.

Dabbing at his mouth with a napkin, Mulder decided to have some fun. "Old girlfriend?" he asked, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"Of course not! We used to ride the bus to school together." Jamie peered at him carefully. "But now that you mentioned it, what about you? Any serious relationships?"

Mulder took another sip of wine.

"Subtle, huh?" Jamie asked. This was the one thing he wanted to get out of the way. "A handsome guy like you had to have any one with a pulse knocking down his door."

"You'd think that," Mulder grinned, then proceeded carefully, "Well, just a few."

Jamie felt a little crestfallen. He knew that Mulder couldn't have been pining away all those years. But he was here now, and that's all that mattered. He suddenly covered his ears. "I don't wanna know!" Jamie cried.

"Hey, you asked."

"I take it back!" Jamie moved his hands down when he noticed he was getting looks. His face flushed with embarrassment. "Yay! So now what do we do since I've made a complete fool out of myself?"

Mulder reached into a pocket. "I was saving this for later but--" He took out a little mauve gift box and placed it in Jamie's hand. His eyes went wide with surprise.

"Mulder," he whispered. "What did you do?"

He winked and shrugged his left shoulder. "Go ahead, open it."

Taking a breath, Jamie slowly lifted the lid. Within sat a gold pair of wings. Jamie held them up to the candlelight. Across the table, Mulder was wearing a magnificent smile.

"It's what they give first-time fliers for making it through the journey," he explained.

Jamie's eyes glittered. "I love it!"

Leaning forward, Mulder pinned the wings to Jamie's blazer collar. As if on cue, the band started to play a soft, romantic ballad.

At the table behind them, an older man leaned forward to his date. "Will you grace me with a dance?" he asked her.

Mulder noticed the look of longing in Jamie's eyes. He sat down his glass. "Oh, what the hell!" Taking off his jacket in a flourish, he stood and held out his hand to Jamie. "Can I have this dance?"

A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Why certainly."

They moved out onto the dance floor, neither caring what any one thought. As the song played, Mulder couldn't see Jamie's face as they were dancing. Playfully, they held each other tighter and closer. Jamie draped his head onto Mulder's shoulder, entranced by the melody. They kissed, completely lost in the moment, in the middle of the floor.

When the music stopped, Mulder laughed softly. "That was fun!"

Jamie winked. "You've got the moves."

The color suddenly drained out of Jamie's face. Mulder turned and held a hand to his forehead. 'Oh no!' he thought.

Jamie's mother left her husband standing, waiting to be seated, as she stalked toward them. "I can't believe you're here with this guy." Her blue eyes blazed.

"Mother, I love you dearly, but I don't recall asking for your permission," Jamie replied, impatiently.

"I do not know you," Janine shot back.

Mulder cringed. That was the worst thing in the world she could've said to Jamie. "That's enough," he snapped, cutting her off.

Janine gave him a withering look and continued her barage at her son. "The boy I raised wouldn't give him the time of day after--."

"That little boy has grown up," Jamie's voice rose. "It's time you realized that."

"Okay," she said curtly. "That's just fine."

The Stella Maris patrons were starting to turn and look at them.

Jamie reached for his mother's arm. "Look, I'm sorry about that. I truly am," he went on in a quieter voice. "But this is about me and Mulder. I love him with all my heart. Now you may not support it and you may not agree with it, but it's not going to stop me from loving him. Nothing will."

Mulder looked at him in surprise. This was the Jamie he knew and loved: the fiery, confident soul, not haunted by the ghosts of the past. Wrapping an arm around him, Mulder led him away from the speechless Janine and out into the lobby. Once there, he swiftly paid the check then turned to find a few tears trailing down Jamie's cheeks.

"If you wanna take a rain check, I'll understand," Jamie sniffled.

Mulder gently caressed his face. "Why? It stopped raining."

"My family is just plain crazy. You have to take everything she says with a grain of salt, please." Jamie clamped his lips together, frustrated, then glanced back up at Mulder. "Maybe we sould just call it a night. I'll call you in the morning, okay?"

"No way!" protested Mulder, taking his arm. "You're not going anywhere."

"I just wanted tonight to be perfect." Jamie sighed, sadly.

"It was," he whispered. "I was with you."

Holding his hand firmly, Mulder turned and walked him up the wide staircase and into his hotel room. The suite was lovely, with white sheer curtains and wallpaper dotted with seashells. Jamie hugged himself before the big double bed.

Closing the door, Mulder moved up behind him. "I'm so proud of you, Jamie. More so than usual." Jamie leaned back and Mulder rested his chin on his shoulder. He could feel the tension radiating from him, and Mulder knew that Jamie was holding something back. "Jamie, I didn't ask you to dinner to talk about the entree. Come on, let me in."

Mulder's encouragement mixed with the confrontation downstairs, goaded Jamie. "I don't know how to act anymore. Things have been..." his voice trailed away. He didn't want to talk about it.

"You can tell me," whispered Mulder.

"Am I just a blank slate?" Jamie wondered. "My own mother doesn't know me. This is exactly what I was afraid of." He shook his head as his eyes welled up again.

Mulder understood perfectly. He'd felt the same way after his own resurrection. A stranger in a sea of familiar faces.

Tenderly, Mulder turned him around, and held his face in his hands. "I know exactly who you are, Jamie. You're strong, brave, intelligent, caring." His heart poured out, Mulder's voice breaking with emotion. "If your mother forgets what's important, what's real, you just remember that I've spent every day and night longing to touch you again. I could never forget what it's like to feel you."

His arms tightened around Jamie, and moved his face in closer, lightly brushing Jamie's lips with his own. Jamie moaned softly through his parted lips, fiercely clinging to Mulder who kissed Jamie with such passion that his lips burned and his body began to respond urgently.

Mulder finally broke off the kiss, opening his eyes to stare into Jamie's. "I-I don't want to let go," he said, breathlessly.

Jamie looped his arms around Mulder's neck, and drew his head near. "Then don't," he whispered.

Mulder's body was pressed so close that Jamie could feel the heat from him. His breathing slowed as he gazed deep into Mulder's eyes. And then he leaned in further until their lips touched. Tentatively at first and then, much more assertively, as Jamie tasted the wine on his lips and on his breath. Mulder opened his plump, wet lips, parting Jamie's with his tongue, and then exploring the recesses of his mouth as they embraced in a long, passionate kiss.

Hands roamed and searched each other's bodies sensually, betraying the urgent desire they felt for one another. Mulder had to have all of him, there and then. His mouth trailed down to Jamie's neck, finding a pulse where he began to gently suck. Mulder's legs started to weaken from the delicious taste of Jamie's skin. Jamie trembled, Mulder's kisses were like refreshing rain after being lost in the desert for years.

"Oh, Fox," Jamie purred.

Mulder broke away from his neck, and smirked at him, pleasantly surprised. "Fox, huh? So you can remember when you want to?"

Jamie nodded cheerfully. "Seems so, Mulder."

Rolling his eyes mischievously, Mulder started kissing Jamie more passionately than ever. He stood back just slightly, never leaving Jamie's lips, and unbuttoned his shirt with tantalyzing patience. He pushed off the blazer and slid the shirt off Jamie's shoulders.

His chest was a mass of well-toned muscle, and beautifully peeked nipples. Mulder licked his lips and knelt down to suck on one, then the other. Jamie moaned softly while Mulder lightly bit on his nipple and started to unbuckle his belt, then unfastened the buttons of his slacks. Jamie slipped out of his polished shoes, while his restless fingers roamed through Mulder's silky hair. Mulder pushed his pants down and then Jamie's briefs, which he slid off from his ankles.

They stood in the suite, glaring hungrily at one another's naked bodies. In an instant they were in each other's arms, and fell onto the bed right behind Jamie.

Their bodies ground together, saturating each other deeply in kisses. Mulder edged down to lick Jamie's trembling form, first stopping on his neck, and then trailing down to his chest, his nipples, and finally down to his navel.

Jamie arched his back as Mulder's warm hand closed around his fully erect cock, already wet from a prodigous amount of precome. Mulder buried his face in Jamie's crotch, while Jamie eased his legs open wider.

Mulder swallowed, he'd waited so long for this moment, and he wanted to make it last as long as possible. He took Jamie's balls inside his mouth and sucked, first one, and then both at the same time. Jamie writhed below him, and encouraged Mulder on with deep moans of ecstasy. Mulder's eyes lit up with a feral intensity as he eased his way up to Jamie's thick cock.

Licking along the pulsing shaft, Fox looked up to see Jamie watching him, with a mixture of love and lust in his dark green eyes. Mulder wrapped his tongue around the head of his penis, and Jamie shuddered, drowning in a tidal wave of sensuality.

He took the crown into his mouth, and played with it, until Jamie groaned and begged for Mulder to take it deeper. Slowly Mulder's lips stretched down the entire length until the head touched the back of his throat. Jamie elicited one pleasurable sound after another. He was in heaven.

Mulder started to suck, letting his long tongue caress the underside of Jamie's dick on the way up and swirling around the head every time he reached the top.

Jamie knew that he was near the edge. He turned his body around and so that his face was between Mulder's legs. His eyes widened at the sight of the cock awaiting him; it was even larger than he remembered.

Mulder gasped as Jamie swallowed him into that sweet, wet mouth. One thing his lover had not lost was his amazing ability for oral sex. A hot shiver ran up Mulder's spine when he felt Jamie's throat muscles massage the head of his cock.

They sucked each other in perfect unison, moaning loudly. All too soon Jamie felt his body tense up and his balls drew up. He cried out around Mulder's cock as his body shook and he erupted inside Fox's mouth.

Mulder continued to suck and held Jamie close while his body convulsed and his moans grew louder. The fact that Jamie was his again, mixed with the sweet musk of his body, pushed Mulder to the limit. He could no longer hold back and cried out his pleasure as he experienced the best orgasm of his life.

Their bodies became entangled in an explosive kiss of passion, tongues searching to taste one another. Jamie felt Mulder's nimble fingers slide down along his sweaty spine, tracing a path to his buttocks. With a devilish grin, Mulder delighted in the rounded firmness as he caressed Jamie's ass. Taking Jamie in his arms, he hugged him tighter and rolled Jamie on top of him.

Jamie lapped his neck, swirling his tongue over every curve and searing his kisses into Mulder's flesh. Nuzzling his ear, Jamie whispered hoarsely, "I need you inside of me, please."

Mulder's heart nearly burst out of his chest, and the blood rushed to his cock, where it twitched, eager to fill his lover.

Lifting himself slightly, Jamie laid down on his stomach. Fox lowered himself on top, his hard dick resting between the cleavage of Jamie's ass. His swollen lips trailed down Jamie's back, planting kisses on his shivering skin. He kneaded the younger man's ass cheeks, and parted them slightly. Mulder's tongue snaked along finding the exposed rosebud. Wetting a finger, he gently massaged the tight anus, then inserted a second, causing Jamie to moan and raise his ass higher.

The delicious sight was driving Mulder wild. With his fingers still deep inside, he ran the length of his tongue around them, lubing Jamie's ass well.

Jamie felt his body being turned around. Mulder grabbed his legs and placed them over his shoulders, then lowered himself down and kissed Jamie passionately. Mulder had been craving this moment for a long time and the urgency in his eyes mirrored Jamie's.

He eased the tip of his leaking cock against Jamie's loosened opening. Jamie groaned and clung onto him as Mulder's shaft slid inside. Mulder growled, hissing between his teeth. The tight ring of muscle engulfed his cock, and it was tighter than anything he'd felt in a long time. Jamie was like a virgin all over again. He didn't move, letting his angel adjust to the fullness.

Then, his eyes never leaving Jamie, Mulder started to slowly pump in and out. The look in his eyes was the most amazing thing in the world. He increased the rhythm, and intense shocks of pleasure coursed through him. Sweat streaked in rivulets down the sides of his face.

Writhing beneath him, Jamie reached up and pressed a finger into Mulder's open mouth. He licked and sucked it, coating the digit like his cock earlier. Jamie popped the wet finger into his own mouth and Mulder's moans and grunts grew louder. He fucked Jamie harder and harder, his balls drawing up on Jamie's ass. Reaching down between them, he grasped Jamie's rock hard dick and started to pump. In turned, Jamie grasped Mulder's plump ass and pulled him in deeper. The muscles clenched around his thrusting dick, and Mulder suddenly started to shudder while a guttural roar issued forth, his eyes wide open and rolling back.

"OhMyGodJaaammmiiieee!" he gasped, coming deep inside his lover.

He convulsed over and over. Once he stopped, Fox collapsed on top of him; their bodies covered with sweat. Breathing deeply, he raised up to lick Jamie's lips, his cock still buried in Jamie's ass. He withdrew before he could go soft, then laid down next to Jamie and crushed him to his heaving chest.

"Whoo!" Mulder exclaimed. "You... are... amazing."

"Theres a lot more where that came from," Jamie replied, wickedly. "Stick around."

"I intend to." Mulder kissed him while stretching Jamie out on his back. His cock flexed, anxious for more. Turning around, Mulder laid himself atop, offering his ass to Jamie. Eyes shining, Jamie's tongue dived inside while Mulder proceeded to cover his hard prick with his mouth.

Mulder eased back, allowing Jamie better access to his own tight hole. A moan escaped his lips as Jamie tongue fucked him with an animal intensity. Soon, Mulder slipped the throbbing cock from his mouth and raised his body. He turned and placed each of his knees to either side of Jamie, then lowered himself on his dick, taking inch after inch. "Oh, yeah," he moaned, thickly, "that feels so good."

Jamie was deep within him and Mulder's ass felt like a tight, gloved fist. His dream became a reality at the incredible sight of Mulder sliding up and down, with his eyes to the ceiling, and his mouth open. Jamie could feel each and every groan reverberate deep within, and soon lost control of all his senses. It was more than either he or his sensitive cock could endure and pumped his mind-shattering orgasm inside his lover.

Overheated, Mulder came once again, this time all over Jamie's chest and navel, creating little pools. He laid down on top of Jamie, kissing and embracing their hot, wet ectasy. Completely out of breath, Mulder rolled onto his side and sat up on one arm to admire Jamie's naked body.

Gazing lovingly into his sparkling green eyes, Mulder reached out to stroke Jamie's flushed cheek. "I love you, Jamie," he said, tenderly.

Jamie wrapped an arm around Mulder's waist, and pulled him closer. "All this time, I've tried to work out a reason why everything happened to me," he started.

Mulder hushed him. "Jamie, you don't have to say a word."

"Then, I realized the truth." Jamie's lips came close to his ear. "Fox, I was born to love you."

His eyes glittering, Mulder leaned down and softly kissed Jamie's lips; a peace, like he'd never known before, washed over him.

*****

All that stood of the once thriving Avatar research facility was a large gaping hole in the ground. After the initial excavation and removal of debris, no had had approached the grounds in weeks, until tonight.

A large flatbed truck stood parked just on the outskirts, where yellow police tape still flapped in the breeze. Beyond, a group of figures in anonymous workmen's coveralls deliberately sifted through the ash, while others pointed high beam flashlights.

Pickaxes swooped through the air repeatedly. One of the men shouted triumphantly. The others feverishly dug. Their leader gave instructions and clustered around the site. Carefully, the men began to haul huge, white bones toward the truck...

[Next Episode: Temptation Waits]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing, Chapter Seven: Creature Comfort  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: November 3rd, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum  
E-MAIL:   
RATING: NC17 (Chapter 7)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
PAIRING: M/O, SK/K  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination. Azathoth and the Great Old Ones are creations of H.P. Lovecraft, and are now the property of Arkham House.  
DEDICATION: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to Bertina and Goddess Michele, just because.

* * *

Chapter Seven: Creature Comfort

The next morning, bright rays of sunlight cascaded through the sheer curtains. Mulder and Jamie lay in bed, Jamie still asleep and wrapped up in Mulder's arms. Mulder gazed lovingly at him, then touched Jamie's hair and he slowly woke up.

"Morning," smiled Mulder.

"Good morning," Jamie replied. He grinned as his eyes focused on Fox, looking so cute with his tousled hair sticking up.

"How are you feeling about last night?"

Jamie sighed contendly and started playing with the hair on Mulder's chest. For the first time since he'd been back, his sleep had been nightmare-free. "Last night was magical. You?"

"What do you think?"

Reaching under the cover, he tickled Jamie and they both laughed. Mulder settled back and rubbed Jamie's bare arm.

Jamie looked up at him, feeling safe, secure, and loved. The peace of his grandmother's coupled with the exercise he'd thrown himself into had done wonders for his mind and body. Now with Fox back in his life, Jamie was feeling better than ever.

"Right here, right now, this place, it's perfect," he said. "I wish the whole world were just right in this room."

Mulder smacked his lips and tasted mint, having snuck into the bathroom to brush his teeth. "Well, I was thinking that we could stay in bed all morning," he suggested. "Then maybe we could go out for lunch."

"That sounds fantastic!"

Leaning down, Mulder brushed his lips lightly over Jamie's. At that precise moment, someone knocked on the suite's door, and a voice announced, "Room service!"

"Hmm... What's that?" Jamie wondered.

"While you were sleeping I ordered some breakfast," Fox explained. He continued talking as he pulled on a white terrycloth robe and went to answer the door. "We need to replenish our energy!"

After a moment or two, he returned bearing a silver tray, atop which sat two glasses of juice, and a bowl of glistening strawberries draped in fluffy whipped cream.

He positioned the tray precariously on his hips and waited while Jamie took a long sip of juice. "These strawberries are amazing," Mulder said. "Try one." He dipped one of the plump berries in the cream, then held it out to Jamie.

With it poised between Mulder's fingers, he gave it a taste. "Wow," he said. It was tangy, sweet and delicious. He inhaled the rest, Mulder's fingers slipping into Jamie's mouth, where he licked away the whipped cream.

Mulder felt a tingle run over his skin. Jamie selected a fat little berry and swirled it through the cream. Then, he offered it to Mulder, who popped it into his mouth.

Jamie watched him savor the fruit between his beautiful curved lips, and a wicked look danced across his face. "You've got a little cream there," he said. Leaning forward, Jamie was careful not to tip over the tray as he kissed Mulder's lips, then slowly licked away the whipped cream on his stubbled cheek.

Breathless, Mulder felt a savage warmth spread through his body. So Jamie wanted to tease? Well two can play that game!

Sticking his finger into the cream, Mulder brought it out and smeared a little on Jamie's neck. "Oops! Look what I did," he exclaimed, playfully. He dove down and gently sucked the cream away from the warm silk of his flesh. 'Gotcha!' he thought as Jamie began to tremble.

Mulder sat back with a smug grin. Jamie quietly sighed, picked up the tray and placed it on the bedside table. Then, taking the bowl of whipped cream, he dipped three fingers in and salved the sticky mess all over Mulder's chest.

"Oh no!" he said, coyly. "Let me get that for you." He slid down and lapped the white trail up.

"Mmm," Mulder moaned, from the mixture of cold whipped cream and Jamie's warm tongue. Jamie made a trail up and over Fox's throat to his open mouth, letting him taste the sweetness.

"You want some more?" Jamie sat back, exposing his own chest, where he dribbled some of the cream. "Oh, look at my poor chest." He ran a finger across it and lifted it to his mouth, where he licked it temptingly. "All bare... and... covered in whipped cream."

Mulder, by this time, was licking his lips like a hungry cat. He pressed his face between Jamie's pecs, his tongue wriggling through the cream. He moved toward the right, seeking out a nipple where he began to lick greedily then he stopped to suck the right nipple. The tender skin stiffened, hard as a pebble against his tongue. Jamie's head rolled against the feather pillows, and his toes curled.

Rolling onto his side, Mulder's robe flew open to reveal his long hard cock, which rose up to meet Jamie's palm. He slowly began to stroke, causing Mulder to gasp, the sensation assaulting all of his sensitive nerve endings.

Yanking off the robe, Mulder rolled on top of his lover. Their movements were slow and sensuous. Jamie kissed him deeply on the lips, his tongue tasting of breakfast strawberries. His fingers moved along Fox's shaft, making his lover shudder and moan uncontrollably.

Hazel eyes burning, forehead and upper lip breaking out into a light sheen of sweat, Mulder wrapped his long legs around Jamie. He spread himself full-length on top; the sensation of Jamie's skin against his was like a powerful aphrodisiac. He kissed him fully, Jamie's eyes never leaving his face.

"Jamie, you are so beautiful," Mulder breathed, reaching down between them to find the insatiable blonde's own flexing penis.

"Look who's talking," Jamie replied, huskily.

Letting both of their cocks slide into his fist, Mulder stroked them together. The result was electrifying. Just like the first time, Jamie helplessly panted and writhed beneath him. The heat generated from the desire between the two lovers could set the bed on fire. Mulder fisted Jamie's long cock next to his own, and they both groaned, locked in the throes of passion.

They melted together and became one. The enchanting warmth shining in Jamie's eyes, and the intense lust building within, made Fox Mulder ecstatic to be alive.

Jamie ran his hands down the smooth velvet of Mulder's back, sliding gently over his well-formed butt. He luxuriated in the incredible heat from his body.

Bathed in sweat, a drop ran off the tip of Mulder's nose and fell onto Jamie's face. He fastened his lips against the moist neck, kissing and softly biting. In his ear Mulder could hear Jamie moan, low and deep.

Suddenly, Jamie gasped for air as if he were drowning when he gave up control to his body. Crashing waves of pure pleasure jolted through him. Mulder's own overwhelming orgasm was muffled as he passionately kissed Jamie.

Mulder embraced him, pressing Jamie's body tightly against his, as he shuddered and came again.

*****

"Mom? Hello, is anyone here?"

Janine walked around downstairs searching for any signs of life.

"In here," a faint voice called.

Ascending the staircase, Janine moved through the second floor hallway and found the attic door open. "Mother?"

"Yes?" Grams replied back.

Janine climbed the little stairs to find both her mother and Peril wearing old clothes and sorting through boxes. Grams was firmly seated on a stack of worn out encylopedias.

"Why don't you pull up a box and help us?" she offered. "I've actually managed to persuade Peril to help clean everything out."

Across from her, Peril smiled mischieviously. "Yeah, and it only cost her twenty dollars."

"I've been trying to reach you," Janine said.

Grams sat down a faded photo album. "Well, I should hope so. I may be losing my hearing, but your voice came through loud and clear so, what's the matter?"

Walking over to them, Janine looked around the attic. "Where's Jamie?"

"Jamie's fine," Peril said. "He's in good hands."

"I know. I ran into him last night."

Grams exchanged a nervous look with her granddaughter, then she turned to Janine. "What about you, dear? Do you want to tell me about that nagging concern you have in your gut?"

Janine exhaled loudly. "I'm just worried about the path Jamie has chosen."

"Talk to me, Janine," Grams opined gently. "You don't really believe Fox Mulder hurt him now, do you?"

"All right." Janine eased into an antique rocking chair. "I want the Jamie that I knew back. I would love to look at him and support him, but what if something terrible happens again? I mean, look what happened before..." She sighed. "I know ya'll think I'm being selfish."

"You're afraid Jamie's going to get hurt."

"Yes. I just want to protect him. Everything in my heart is telling me that he's still my little boy."

Grams stood up, brushing dust off her red slacks. "Oh, my dear sweet child. That little boy is nearly forty."

"Yes, I know that but..."

"Just think, all those years ago we had a memorial service for Jamie," Peril butted in. "We thought we'd never see him again, but he's back, alive and well because of Mulder."

Grams nodded. "And hiding Jamie away from the rest of the world is not going to keep him warm at night."

Janine blushed. "Mom, I can't believe you're saying this."

"I'm saying what I know. Maybe Jamie has found true love. That doesn't mean he's going to leave us forever."

"Jamie and Mulder have the kind of love I dream about," Peril added. "After all the years they've been apart, I think the least they deserve is a little romance. Don't you?"

Sitting back, Janine bit her lip and considered her options.

>From downstairs, Jamie's voice floated up to them. "Grams? Peril?"

"That's Jamie," Janine said, relieved. On the way out she turned to Grams and Peril. "Thanks."

Peril watched her go. "I hope we got through to her."

Grams patted her arm. "My darling, so do I."

*****

With his arms wrapped snuggly round Jamie's waist, Mulder rocked him back and forth. After a long, hot shower, Mulder had shimmied into a snug pair of jeans, along with a rich blue Duckhead sweatshirt. Jamie, who didn't want to wear a penguin suit all day, asked to come back to Grams for a more comfortable change of clothing. Both of them practically glowed, and they stood at the bottom of the staircase, waiting for someone to answer.

Neither one of them expected Janine to greet them. >From the look on her face, Jamie involuntarily groaned. 'I really hope she's not going to start another pointless dig on Mulder,' he thought. 'Because I am so not in the mood to argue.'

He heaved a sigh a relief when Peril appeared closely behind her. Janine noticed that Jamie was wearing the same clothes he had on last night. "Were you out all night?" she asked with open directness.

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, eyeing her warily. This was not going to be a fun conversation.

Maternal instincts kicked in and Janine wanted to question him further, but held her tongue. Antagonizing Jamie wouldn't help anything.

Peril eased by her aunt, having seen the well-fucked grins on both Jamie and Mulder's faces. Good for them!

"Did you...?" Peril prompted.

"Uh-huh." Jamie nodded.

"Was he...?"

"Uh-uh!" Jamie exclaimed, a dreamy smile played across his lips.

Janine held up her hands. "Okay, I'd like to have a word with my son, please."

Giving Jamie a smile of encouragement, Peril joined Mulder out in the parlor. Jamie watched them go then, with a deep sigh, leaned against a counter and folded his arms.

"Mom, I don't want to fight anymore," he began sternly. "Fox is wonderful and he has a heart of gold, and he doesn't deserve to be insulted. Now I know you're a big girl so I want you to apologize."

Janine opened her mouth to break in, but Jamie swiftly continued. "Unless you drop this bad attitude, you can just pucker up and kiss me goodbye, 'cause till then we have nothing more to say to each other."

He turned and sauntered out of the room, peeling off his blazer as he walked. Janine caught her breath. She'd crossed the line with her son and he was angry -- more angry than she'd ever seen him.

"Hey, wait!" she called, following after him, "I do have something to say."

Mulder stood up from the couch. He'd been a party to enough arguments with his father in the past to know a nuclear explosion when he saw it brewing.

Jamie whipped around, a combination of radioactive nitro-nine seething in his eyes. "I think you said enough last night," he warned his mother.

"Not to you!" she replied back. "To Mr. Mulder." Mulder braced himself, but instead of a tirade, Janine's voice grew soft. "Look, I'm sorry. I really am. This has been a very stressful, difficult time and I've been extremely rude." For the first time, she gave Mulder a smile. "I apologize."

You could have knocked Jamie over with a feather. He gaped at his mom in stunned surprise.

"It's okay," Mulder said, gently squeezing Jamie's shoulder. "I understand, believe me I do. I've had days where I'd like to chuck someone over the side of a building."

Janine laughed -- she actually laughed! "That sounds like a sight to see."

He took a breath. "Why don't I give you both a little time to talk?"

Mulder gave Jamie a little wink, then walked across the room and into the kitchen with Peril.

"That was a good start," Jamie said wryly. He still couldn't get over his mom's change of heart.

"Well, now I know what you were up to last night," Janine said. "Eating spinach."

"Oh..." Jamie chuckled nervously. "I am what I am. I just kinda forgot who that was for a while." Folding his arms across his chest, Jamie threw her a curious look. "So what brought on this new attitude?"

"Seeing you stand up for yourself last night, and what you told me really hit a nerve," she explained. "Plus, I got some very good advice from your Grams." Hand on hip, Janine gave her son a searching grin. "If I hadn't softened my approach, would you really have stopped talking to me?"

"Nah," he said, making a flicking gesture with his hand. "I was just bluffing."

His mother chuckled softly, reluctantly admitting to herself that Jamie was quite amazing.

"Mom, I'm not the same kid who left home," he added, "but I'd like you to know the person I am now."

*****

An hour and half later, Mulder and Jamie headed out. Jamie, cleaned and refreshed, had on a pair of jeans and a forest green shirt -- which practically made his eyes glow.

It was a gorgeous October day. The couple sat at an outdoor table at Nikki's, a bar and grille in town, over plates of chicken and tall iced teas.

Mulder smiled at Jamie, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Forging an uneasy truce with his mom was a major step to Jamie's recovery. He seemed relaxed and comfortable with his new life, but one nagging doubt tugged at Mulder's mind. He'd felt it himself and witnessed it often in abductee survivors; a certain fear in his eyes, like the feeling of something unpleasant just behind you.

A breeze ruffled through Jamie's hair and he eased his chair closer to Fox, until their arms were touching. Mulder was determined to set Jamie's mind at ease, and make him the happiest soul on the planet.

He swallowed a mouthful of tea and scanned the quaint little shops ranged on either side of the street, in an attempt to give tourists a feel of Southern charm. Mulder breathed in the sweet Autumn air and let his view travel along the sidewalk. At the far end was an old brick movie theatre. His eyes lit up like a child's on Christmas morning.

"Look what's playing!" he exclaimed, pointing to the revival house's marquee. "What do you think?" he asked, wearing a little pout, not only because it was his favorite horror classic, but also he wanted to get his lover alone in the dark.

Jamie took a last bite of chicken and laid down his fork. "Okay, let's do it!"

*****

Entering the darkened movie theatre, Jamie gripped Mulder's arm with one hand and held onto a jumbo tub of buttered popcorn in the other as they searched for a place to sit. Previews flickered across the big screen, affording a little light. Through the gloom there only appeared to be a handful of people, and they were all toward the front.

Mulder turned to Jamie with a mischievious glint in his eye. "Since we missed dinner last night, you wanna find a couple of seats in the back and make out?" he suggested.

Jamie smiled, and nodded enthusiastically.

Taking his hand, Mulder slid into the back row which, thankfully, wasn't occupied. Settling back into the dark red seats, Jamie cuddled up next to Mulder, who wrapped an arm round his shoulders.

The popcorn was quickly forgotten, and the trailers became lost to obscurity as Jamie teasingly ran his fingertips up Mulder's leg and along his thigh. Mulder shifted when his cock instantly twitched into life. 'Why the hell did I decide to wear these jeans?' he wondered silently.

Nuzzling his chin, Mulder's lips found Jamie's earlobe and he began to nibble. The loud sigh which escaped his lover's mouth was drowned out by the Universal fanfare. Mulder felt a thrill of excitement at the prospect of getting intimate with Jamie in a public place. Swirling his tongue over the ear's outer curve had the desired effect as Jamie began to tremble. Mulder softly nipped it, then drew his warm breath in close.

"I like an element of danger," he whispered.

"So do I," Jamie replied, his right hand sliding between Mulder's legs and cupping the straining bulge.

A white hot surge filled his crotch. Mulder dived down to cover Jamie's lips with his own. He felt Jamie's tongue and he opened wider -- wanting to pull all of that hot mouth into his.

Jamie's hand pressed against his groin, caressing Mulder through his tight Levi's. Fox spread his legs apart, and wriggled down into a better position. Jamie returned to his neck, running his tongue over Mulder's Adam's apple. He moaned softly, running his fingers through Jamie's gelled hair. Mulder ached deep inside for those magnificent lips to be wrapped around his protesting cock.

Jamie's hands explored in the darkness -- unfastening Fox's jeans and lightly pulling down the zipper. He reached inside and smiled as he felt the rock hard flesh. When Jamie gave it a gentle tug, Mulder gasped. Jamie looked up at him wickedly.

"I didn't realize movie-going could be this exciting," he whispered.

"Oh Jamie, you have no idea." Fox gently pushed his vivacious lover's face into his lap, taking care that no one noticed.

Jamie licked his lips, took a deep breath, and slid his warm mouth over Mulder's eager dick. Overwhelmed by the incredible sensation, Fox exhaled a drawn out "Mmmm." His body went limp in the theatre chair. Jamie's hands worked Mulder's jeans and briefs down further, giving him full access. His tongue flickered along the shaft.

Mulder felt precome pooling on the tip of his dick, but the moment it got there, Jamie licked it off carefully, slowly, deliberately. His mind felt light as air, his whole body was about ready to combust. His moans were more intense now. He was breathing hard, and thrusting his hips rhythmically. When the whole of his penis slid into his lover's throat, Mulder closed his eyes. He seemed to be spinning out of control, his body floating in rapturous ectasy.

In a frenzy he gripped an arm rest, while keeping a gentle touch on Jamie's bobbing head. The younger man's wet mouth continued to make love to him, with Fox's dick sliding in and out, in and out... Suddenly Mulder felt his body spasm. His cries of pleasure were drowned out by the musical sting of an amphibious claw reaching out of the murky black lagoon...

*****

Evening came and the two lovers had returned to Jamie's Grams' house. Both Peril and Grams, exhausted from cleaning the attic, sat devouring the last of a chessecake. Meantime, Jamie was upstairs in his socked feet showing Mulder around the old house. Both women had giggled and shook their heads at the sound of them chasing one another through the bedrooms.

In the hallway, Fox cornered Jamie beside a curio cabinet. His handsome face brightened into that familiar devilish smile of his. Every time Mulder saw him, he just wanted Jamie to rip his clothes off. Pressing him into the wall, Mulder kissed him fiercely.

Drawing him closer, Jamie laid his head over Mulder's shoulders. He opened his eyes, and gasped. Mulder felt Jamie's heartbeat drop. He pulled away and stared into his frightened eyes.

"Jamie, what is it? What's wrong?" he questioned, urgently.

Moving past him, Jamie walked toward a darkened window. "I-I thought I saw a... shape out there," he explained in a trembling voice.

Mulder came up beside him. "Jamie, we're on the second floor," he said gently.

"I know." Seeing the concern in Fox's eyes, Jamie suddenly felt very foolish. Now his nightmares were haunting him when he was awake. He shivered uncontrollably, and hugged himself. "I'm sorry. I still half expect shadows to jump out at me."

>From downstairs the telephone started to ring.

"What did you see?" Mulder asked, carefully. As hard as Jamie tried to put up a brave front, he was obviously still traumatized.

"It was nothing. Just my imagination," he explained, and hugged Mulder. "And you of all people know how overreactive it is."

But Mulder wouldn't be put off. "Jamie, you--"

"Jamie! Telephone!" Peril shouted.

"I'll be right back," Jamie said. All too quickly he disappeared down the stairs. Mulder chewed his lip and took a look at the window. There was nothing reflecting off it, and it was so dark outside that you could barely see the street.

Feeling the need for the restroom, Mulder decided that when the time was right, he and Jamie were going to have to have a long talk.

Bounding off the last step, Jamie found Peril waiting and holding out the cordless. "Who is it?" he wondered.

"That yummy Alex Krycek," she replied. "I won't tell your boyfriend in case he gets jealous!"

Jamie smirked and took the phone while Peril strode back into the parlor, laughing.

"Alex," he said. "How are you?" Jamie pulled the phone away as a harsh crackling sound shot through his ear. "Ouch! Sorry, I think we've got a bad connection. What did you say?"

"I'm almost as good as new," Krycek repeated. "I've been trying to track you down."

Walking into the kitchen, Jamie headed for the fridge and poured himself a glass of chilled water. "I'm feeling much better. Mulder's here and things are great."

In the background on Alex's end, Jamie could hear a deep voice talking. A voice that sounded kinda familiar. "Who's that with you?" he asked, curiously.

"Oh... um, that's just my nurse," he answered back. "Today's the last day I have to wear these friggin' bandages, and he's ready to help them off."

Jamie nodded and leaned back against the fridge door. Him? Hmmm...

*****

Alex hung up the phone and turned to find an impatient Walter Skinner towering over him. "How's Jamie?" he enquired.

"Fine," Alex sighed. "Mulder's there so I'm sure he'll have him chasing after aliens in no time."

Walter smirked. "Well, at least they're both okay. With Mulder, you never know." He sat down on the coffee table directly across from Krycek. "Come on, take your shirt off," he said.

Alex shifted on the plush sofa where he'd felt comfortable sleeping for the past couple of weeks. He'd been at first suspicious then taken aback by Skinner's offer of recuperating at his place. Alex had been wary of returning to Virginia, but Skinner assured him his apartment would be the last place in the world any one could think to look for the former double agent.

Their living situation had been domestic at best, with Krycek cooking and doing a little cleaning while Skinner toiled away at the Bureau. Apparently his superiors were not too happy with the excursion to San Francisco, and many days Walter came home grumpy.

Alex had flatly refused to see any D.C. physicians, so it was left to Walter's marine training to care for him. Whenever Krycek needed his bandages changed or tightened, it was getting increasingly difficult to hide his arousal. Although he'd always been attracted to a certain maverick fox, Alex found himself thinking more and more of the surly A.D. Not only because he felt indebted to the man for taking care of him and not narcing him out, but also for the main reason that Walter Sergei Skinner was just so damn hot. Many times Alex imagined how much more comfortable the sofa bed would be with the older man under the covers, his strong, muscular arms wrapped around him.

His thoughts strayed as he slipped out of his shirt, and Walter carefully removed the bandages, with the skill of an archaeologist unwrapping a mummy. He was pleased to find the bruising around the pale flesh beneath to have vanished. Walter started to explore the tender skin with gentle fingers. Alex's scent permeated his nostrils; a warm, exotic, spicy musk that triggered a rush of heat to Skinner's crotch. Simply put, Alex Krycek was a stunningly beautiful man, and Walter had sincerely started to care about him. The sensation of the younger man's bare skin beneath his fingertips sent Walter's mind whirling. So much so that he was unaware of slightly massaging around the healed ribs.

Alex shivered from the touch. Walter looked up at him with a little grin. "Don't tell me you're shy after I've changed these bandages every day?"

"No, it's not that," he began. Fuck! Any second now and Skinner would notice the outline of his prick threatening to burst from his jeans. He shrugged. "Now that I'm out of the woods, I guess you'll be wanting me to leave soon."

Walter stopped and fixed him with a penetrating gaze. "Who said anything about you leaving?" His voice was deep and thick.

Alex felt his pulse quicken. What the hell was happening? "But, I know that..."

Walter shut his mouth with an impulsive kiss. Alex's body stiffened briefly, then he began kissing Walter back, with the same unrestrained passion. Slowly they sank to their knees. Alex's tongue slithered inside Walter's mouth. He reached out and touched the A.D.'s fine body: the bull-like shoulders, nicely pumped biceps, tight waist. He felt Skinner's huge hands kneading his firm chest.

Alex closed his feverish eyes and unbottoned Walter's shirt, running his fingers back and forth across the nipples. 'I can't wait to see him naked,' he thought, hungrily. Alex tugged at his shirt, and Walter lifted his arms, and pulled it up and over his head.

Flexing a pec invitingly, Walter took Krycek's dark head and pulled it close. He growled as the Russian ran his tongue over a nipple, coating it and making it hard. Alex was surprised when Skinner tenderly drew him toward the carpet, having visualized the big guy as a rough lover.

They rolled over and over the floor, mouths locked. When they stopped, Walter was lying on top. Alex enjoyed the warm weight against him. "Oh!" he gasped as Walter slid his tongue down the ridges of Alex's chest and across the fabric of his pants. His prick swelled against the dark jeans, making Skinner's mouth water. He kissed the bulge, running his tongue against the outline, and began to suck.

Alex groaned, writhing back against the carpet. He reached forward and unfastened the A.D.'s slacks. His green eyes flashed at the sight of Skinner's penis, half erect against his thigh. It was huge and Alex took in a sharp breath.

"Well?" Skinner growled.

"I think I've found a way to repay your kindness," Krycek told him, hungrily.

With his ribs healed, Alex manouvered down, grateful for the renewed flexibility, and slipped Walter's dick into his mouth. Moving his lips along the shaft, it grew to full hardness in Alex's mouth. Walter knelt with his hands on Krycek's head as he pumped his hips and fucked his face with deep, slow strokes. Alex opened his throat wide and managed to take it all in each time Walter shoved his hips forward.

Alex ran his hands into Skinner's waistband and pulled both his pants and underwear down. He felt the hard flesh of his buttocks, prying them open. Walter groaned and reluctantly pulled away from Krycek's delicious mouth. He lay beside him, kissing Alex full on the lips, the eyes, all over his elfin face. At the same time, Skinner pulled those black jeans and boxers down.

"You have a beautiful body," he whispered, slowly stroking the Russian's uncut cock. In a matter of moments, he turned around and took the hard flesh into his mouth.

Alex cried out when the older man started deep-throating him. For just a second, he wondered where the A.D. learned to do this so skillfully. He opened his eyes and found Skinner's ass hovering above his face. Lifting his head, Alex licked between the cheeks.

The sensation drove Walter wild as Alex wrapped a hand round his dick and began to pump it. They slipped into a passionate rhythm. Walter gasped for air and turned back to face the sexy rat.

"I really wanna fuck you, Krycek," he said. "Would you like that?"

Alex's eyes blazed. "As far as I'm concerned, you can fuck me blind."

Walter reached over to a nearby table, and Krycek was surprised when he opened a drawer to extract a condom and some lube. Soon, his legs were over those broad shoulders, and Skinner was desperate to plunge inside Alex's ass. Slowly and gently Walter entered the man. Alex squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip from the size of him.

"I'll go easy," Walter reassurred him. He started to fuck with slow thrusts. Alex opened his eyes as shocking jolts of pleasure coursed through him. Never in a million, trillion years would he have thought this could happen. Walter Skinner, his former enemy, the man who gunned down his insane clone, fucking him senseless! The sight excited Krycek to new hardness.

A lascivious grin played across Walter's face and increased his pace, grinding deep inside. Spitting into his hand, he began to stroke Krycek's aching shaft. Alex reached up and ran his fingers over Skinner's sweaty abs. The older man grunted loudly, his breathing becoming ragged. His lips pulled back into a snarl as he thrust hard one last time and then roared. He leaned down and kissed Krycek's drenched face, and felt his dick twitch inside the Russian. At the same time, Alex's orgasm rose and he cried out.

Walter embraced him in a bear hug, pressing his body tightly against Krcyek's. The two newfound friends and lovers lay on the floor in silence, both men catching their breath. The A.D. rolled onto his side and trailed a thick finger up Alex's firm belly.

"You know you can stay here as long as you want," he offered. After this, Walter didn't want to let Alex leave.

"I'll think about it," Krycek replied, not wanting to push things. Walter seemed satisfied with his answer. He looped an arm around the younger man, and Alex nestled his head against Skinner's shoulder. He felt himself drifting off to sleep.

Then the sharp trilling of the telephone invaded the serenity. With an irritated groan, Walter reached up to grab the portable.

"Hello?"

"Do you know what's happened in San Francisco?" a very insistent, cultured female voice asked.

"What? I beg your pardon?" Walter replied, completely taken off guard.

"I'm trying to locate Fox William Mulder," she said, urgently. "They've taken the bones. It won't be long before it all starts up again!"

Alex saw the alarm in Walter's eyes and he sat up.

"Just a second! Who the hell is this?" Skinner demanded, in a voice that nine times out of ten left his subordinates quaking.

"Doctor Angela Kitzseiger," she told him. "Head of Oxford University's Parasychology Department. I must find Mr. Mulder before it's too late."

"Why? Exactly what are you talking about?"

"Surely you know what happened at the Avatar site? They've taken Azathoth's remains! If you don't believe me, call the San Francisco bureau!"

Walter, stunned, quickly tried to calm himself and make some sense from what the woman was telling him. He listened carefully as she repeated everything once more, then he jotted down her number and promised to call back.

He sat back and wondered whether to ring Mulder first or call his friends out in San Francisco for confirmation. Alex shook his shoulder.

"Walter, clue me in. What's going on? Who was that?"

Skinner turned his soft brown eyes toward him. "A doctor from England. She claims that someone has taken bones from the Avatar ruins." He swallowed hard. "What would someone want with a pile of bones?"

"A grotesque trophy?" Alex snorted, then a horrible thought entered his mind. "Whafuck?!" he exclaimed. "Who's bones did they--" His voice faded from the look on Walter's face.

Hanging his head, Walter murmured, "How am I supposed to tell Mulder?"

"This is insane," Alex told him. He couldn't believe this. It had to be a mistake! "We don't even know if this is true or not." He took a breath and slammed his palm to the floor. "Every member of that fuckin' cult died in the explosion. Who else would want to deliberately resurrect Azathoth?"

*****

Five cloaked figures gathered in a large, deathly cold crypt. They circled a stone obelisk and raised their hands in supplication. Before them sat the gleaming bones of the Great Old One, Azathoth...

[Next Episode: Glutton For Punishment]

* * *

TITLE: Surfacing, Chapter Eight: The Truth Is Out There ...And It Hurts  
AUTHOR: Chad Moore  
FANDOM: XF  
DATE: November 8th, 2001  
SERIES: Dangerous Undercurrents and Conundrum  
E-MAIL:   
RATING: NC17 (Chapter 8)  
CATEGORY: M/O  
PAIRING: M/O  
ARCHIVE: Yes, please  
KEYWORDS: Slash, Romance, Angst, Adventure  
WARNINGS: WIP  
SPOILERS: This story takes place after "Existence," with references to past seasons.  
DISCLAIMER: All familiar characters belong to CC, 1013 and Fox TV; any others were conceived in my warped imagination. Azathoth and the Great Old Ones are creations of H.P. Lovecraft and are now the property of Arkham House.  
BETA READER: Bertie

* * *

Chapter Eight: The Truth Is Out There ...And It Hurts

"Walter... Walter... Walter, slow down!" Mulder exclaimed into his cell phone. He restlessly walked up and down the length of his suite listening as Skinner hurriedly related a series of sketchy details. During the rush of the A.D.'s voice he'd managed to catch 'San Francisco,' 'Avatar ruins,' and 'bones.'

He listened for a moment.

"Charlie, a friend at the SF bureau, confirmed that some archaeological group flashed creditials allowing them to dig at the site," Walter continued, pacing himself.

Mulder's first instinct was to deny what Skinner was telling him. Then his conspiracy-filled mind took it all in and it made perfect sense. Somewhere out there, the threat of Azathoth loomed again.

Walter's gruff voice broke in on his worried thoughts. "Dr. Kitzseiger is anxious to talk with you, Mulder. She claims to have information on who's responsible--"

Mulder's eyes flashed to the bathroom, hoping that Jamie couldn't hear what he was about to say. "What Jamie went through was extremely traumatic," he said fiercely. "I don't think he's dealt with it on a conscious level."

The click of an opening door made him turn around and whisper, "The last thing he needs to know is that someone dug up Azathoth's bones."

"Mulder, what are you going to do?" demanded Walter. "You've got to--"

Mulder pulled the phone from his ear. A slight crackling noise assaulted him from Skinner's end. A new pin prick of trouble shivered up his spine. It sounded almost like a...

"Find out all you can, and I'll call you back later!" With that he hung up and turned to Jamie, who was smiling expectantly.

"Friendly call?"

"Ah, yeah," he replied, fumbling to return the little black phone to his short's pocket. "Just checking on things at home." He mentally cringed at the white lie.

"Is something wrong?" asked Jamie, concerned.

"Wrong? No. Why?"

"I don't know. You just look a little worried, that's all." He gazed at him, reading Mulder's frown. "You don't have to leave, do you?"

"Never!" He reached out and pulled Jamie close, pressing into his body. "Ready to work up a sweat?" he asked, resting a palm on Jamie's behind.

"Ooo!" Jamie's eyes grew wide with anticipation.

Mulder chewed his lip. He needed time to think. He couldn't alarm Jamie yet. This reunion had been the happiest time of Mulder's life. Over the past few days, he'd watched his lover build a secure little world for himself. Right now Jamie's trust that his personal hell was over stood at a delicate balance. He'd be damned if he'd crush his lover's building hope. Mulder couldn't bring himself to tell him yet.

Instead he embraced Jamie and just stood there holding him. 'Until I know exactly what the hell is going on,' he thought. 'You won't have to worry about anything.'

*****

"Whew!" Mulder exhaled, wiping a hand across his moistened brow. Blood rushed in his ears from the exertion. He replaced the barbell to the rack behind him and knew he was going to feel that in the morning. With the events of the past two months he really hadn't been keeping up with his exercise routine like he should have. His sleeveless grey tee shirt and cut off shorts were already soaked with perspiration. Running a hand through his damp hair, Mulder left the weight training area of the gym, walking past bikes and treadmills toward a room full of punching bags and blue foam mats.

Jamie had insisted on keeping up with the tumbling and kicking exercises his cousin had started him on. Mulder searched the room and found his lover practicing punches on one of the bags. He also noted with irritation that two of the more beefier guys were standing a short distance away checking Jamie out.

However, Jamie was oblivious to all of this. The bright lights, the mirrored walls, the air conditioned air tinged with sweat. His fists whaled into the punching bag. In a flash it disappeared, to be replaced by the nightmarish vision of Azathoth. Tendrils of black mist stretched out to consume him; a deep rumble of laughter in his ears. Jamie started to go crazy on the bag, throwing continuous rapid punches.

"Jamie," Mulder called.

He didn't respond.

Tentatively, Mulder reached out and touched his shoulder. Jamie spun around, a bright fire shining in his eyes.

"What?" he asked, surprised. It took him a couple of seconds for reality to return. "What is it?"

Mulder peered at him a little worried. "Um, I think you've beaten the crap out of the defenceless bag."

Jamie frowned and looked back at the still swinging bag, now deformed from his violent punches. He grimaced, embarrassed. "Oops. Sorry."

"I think we've both had enough," Fox said, feeling a sore spot in his back.

"Hey, I said I was sorry."

"Not that." Taking him by the arm, Mulder led him away. "I think I'm gonna have to take you over my shoulder and carry you out of here."

Grinning, Jamie paused. "Not that I don't love the visual, but why?"

Fox leaned in close to whisper and Jamie saw the beaded line above his lip. How he'd love to boldly lick it... Woah! Seeing Mulder all worked up with the combination of working out was sending shock waves of arousal through him.

"Those guys over there were checking you out," Mulder told him.

"What?!" Jamie's eyes widened. He saw the territorial gleam reflected back from in his lover's. Playfully, he turned to look. "Where?"

"Hey!" Mulder protested.

Jamie laughed. "Come on, Captain Caveman." With a handful of shirt, he lead him out of the room and further into the complex.

Moving back into the locker room, Mulder first thought that they were leaving, then suddenly Jamie turned a corner and casually strode by the frosted glass shower cubicles.

"Jamie, where are we going?" he wondered.

He winked back. "Just wait and see."

They stopped outside of the sauna. Jamie momentarily opened the door and gazed inside. With a satisified smile he looked up at Fox and suddenly pinned him against the wall. Mulder felt his breath catch between them as Jamie planted a firm kiss of passion on his half-open lips. He started to shiver as goose bumps ran across his body.

With one leg Jamie forced open the door, at the same time drawing his lover inside. Fox broke the kiss for a moment. "Jamie," he started to protest, "we can't!"

"Oh, yes we can!"

Swirls of warm air lifted onto their bodies as they entered the empty room. Mulder sighed at the relaxing heat settled into his pores. Protesting was just plain silly. He smiled, feeling a pleasurable stirring in his shorts. Jamie made him complete, and he was so in love that just one look from those shining green eyes could make a slut out of him anywhere.

Jamie continued to kiss him hungrily, rubbing his hands all along Fox's back and neck. Slowly he moved him to lay upon one of the many white benches. Grinding beneath Jamie, Mulder slipped his hands into the back of Jamie's shorts to cup his round cheeks. His cock pressed into Jamie, increasing in size as Jamie's long sensual tongue entwined with his own.

Hot, heavy air pressed down on them. With Fox down on the bench Jamie sat up and started removing his clothing in swift motions. Mulder looked up and a pure enjoyment danced across his face. Jamie leaned down and lifted his lover's shirt off. Kissing Mulder's beautiful chest, he relished the taste of his flesh and worked his way back to those plump, waiting lips.

Mulder's protesting dick was pinioned fast with Jamie sitting atop him. The greatest urge hit his body and Fox wanted to come right then and there. He exhaled loudly, causing the steam to ripple.

Sensing the explosive forces gathering beneath him, Jamie reluctantly left Fox's mouth and slid himself down. Mulder's shorts were plastered to his skin and his cock tantalyzingly stood out. Taking hold of the waistband, Jamie removed them and like a wild river he instantly dove in.

Mulder threw his head back, and closed his eyes. A whimper then a moan came from him as Jamie's mouth moved up and down. His lips slid around the shaft while his tongue slipped under the tip. Then with killing slowness he took the entire length down his throat.

Mulder gasped and sat up. "Oh, god Jamie! That's so good!"

Gently, Jamie pushed him back down onto the bench. He knelt beside Fox, keeping his dick in his mouth the entire time. Mulder was moaning uncontrollably now, lost in ectasy. His fingers twisted through Jamie's wet hair, pushing him down further on his cock. One hand trailed across Jamie's back, then along his side. It slowly moved closer to his throbbing dick. Mulder wrapped his hands around it and started to stroke.

Jamie moved his hips to help the rhythm. As he rocked back and forth, Mulder suddenly grabbed him around the waist pulled Jamie on top of him. Fox licked the shaft, and expertly worked it all the way inside. Locked in his arms, feeling the sensations from that wonderful mouth, Jamie just wanted to stay like this, making love to this gorgeous man forever.

Mulder hissed with pleasure as he felt Jamie's hand rubbing his ass. He reached down between them and pressed Jamie's fingers inside, making what he wanted clear. Jamie paused to lick an index finger and pushed it inside. Mulder exhaled and watched trickles of sweat run down Jamie's hard muscled abdomen. He loved this man more than he ever thought possible.

Jamie's tongue wriggled around his opening and Mulder had to have more, he had to have all of him. "Yes! Please, Jamie," he begged in a hoarse voice.

His lover got up and, breathing deeply, leaned over Mulder to spread his legs. Slowly Jamie pushed his hard cock into his ass. Lifting Mulder's legs, he started thrusting in and out. Grunts of passion escaped his lips as his pace quickened. He reached down and gripped Fox's glistening shaft. Unable to hold back any longer, Mulder arched his back and yelled out the excitation of his orgasm. Jamie leaned over to lovingly lick his chest and face, then brushed his mouth to Fox's, who ran his tongue along Jamie's lips. Mulder held onto Jamie harder and within seconds he felt a sweet warmth blast into him.

Fox and Jamie lay in the sauna for a few minutes in a sweat soaked daze. After a little while, Jamie stared into his sleepy eyes with a grin. "Have I told you today just how much I love you?" he wondered, dreamily.

Wrapping his arms around him, Mulder pulled him down for another long kiss.

*****

Spinning a remote with one hand, Peril idly flipped through the TV Guide with the other. Nothing much on. Her vacation time was nearly up, and soon it would be back to the rat race. At least her visit had not been a waste. She'd helped Jamie and Mulder find one another again. Watching those two just gazing at each other made her all wistful. Their love had touched her deeply, and she was determined to give dating another go once she got back to San Francisco.

Peril glanced over at the grandfather clock in a corner. The lovebirds were coming for dinner this evening, and Grams had busied herself shopping at the Winn Dixie. Tossing the remote, she stood and walked through the living room. As she was about to go upstairs, she heard a knocking at the door and went to answer it.

When she opened it Peril was faced with a tall, striking figure in a black sweater, jeans and shiny Doc Martens. Standing on the front step, Peril decided that this fellow with the shaved head and piercing blue eyes was definitely not a local boy.

"Hello, I'm looking for Mr. Fox Mulder. I was wondering if you could help me?"

Peril smiled at the attractive British accent. Right on target! He's not from around these parts.

"Sure," she replied. Stepping aside to admit him, she closed the door.

*****

Having showered, caught his breath, changed into fresh clothes, and caught his breath again, Mulder reluctantly left Jamie in town. He wanted to take a leisurely stroll through the park before going over to Grams. As much as he hated leaving his lover, this gave Mulder the perfect opportunity to check in with Walter. At this time of day he would be in his office.

Waiting for Kim to put his call through, Mulder glanced out of his suite's window. In the distance he could just about make out the crimson park trees. He had arranged to meet Jamie at his grandmother's in thirty minutes. Maybe he wouldn't have to break his heart. Maybe Walter could sort this all out...

"Mulder, what the hell was all that about this morning?" Skinner's gruff voice demanded on the other end.

For a second Mulder shivered from deja vu, picturing himself seated across the A.D.'s desk being reprimanded. "I didn't want Jamie to overhear our conversation," he explained. He moved the cell phone to the other ear and started pacing. "Plus, I think your line may be tapped."

He heard Walter sigh. "Mulder, are you serious?"

"Do me a favor, when you get home, check it."

"All right," Skinner conceded. "I assume it's safe for us to talk openly now."

"Yes. Why? What have you learned?"

"Dr. Kitzseiger called again... Mulder, are you sitting down?"

"Just tell me." Mulder was about to explode.

"She claims that some..." He struggled with the word. "...coven associated with what went on out in California took those bones. A friend ran a check for me and that group claiming to be archaeologists showed up with what turned out to be forged papers. Before they could find out, whoever these people are, sifted through the ruins and were gone."

Mulder felt too frantic to sit. During Skinner's diatribe he'd already covered the length of the room three times. "Does she know what else this coven wants?"

"She wouldn't say anymore." Skinner took a breath. "She was adamant about seeing you, Mulder. Before we hung up she said that she was taking the first flight out here."

At this Mulder did sit. "Walter, how am I supposed to tell Jamie about this? Do you have any idea how fragile he is right now?"

Mulder had noticed certain signs that were coming through loud and clear. And not just beating a punching bag to a pulp. Jamie talked in his sleep. At first the words were jumbled, incoherent, then increasingly they took shape. Jamie had pushed the trauma of his possession to the back of his mind; but they reawakened during his dreams.

Mulder himself had dealt with this issue over and over again in the past. Forcing Jamie into a confrontation could harm him emotionally, and Fox was not about to put his lover through any more pain.

"Mulder, I know," Walter replied, quietly. "Do you think it was easy for me to tell you?"

He shook his head, though Skinner couldn't see the action. "Walter, I'm sorry. Just give me a little time to break this to him gently, okay?"

Skinner agreed. Hanging up, Mulder went back to the window. A demonic coven was out there just waiting to take Jamie away again. The universe couldn't be that cruel and unfair, could it?

He hurried out of the suite with a sudden urge to make sure Jamie was all right.

*****

Ever curious, Peril crossed her legs and tried once more to engage this handsome yet mysterious stranger in conversation. Since his arrival he'd sat sullenly in the living room while she'd rambled on. The more Peril thought about it, this guy didn't seem like the type who would be chummy with Mulder... that is, unless he had a kinky side that her cousin had failed to tell her about.

The clock chimed. Grams would be back soon, and Peril felt the need to hurry Mister Personality along.

"So, um, where do you know Mulder from?" She attempted again. "Did you go to school with him?" Maybe he knows Jamie, too, she thought.

"Do you know where he is?" asked the man.

The furrow between Peril's eyes deepened. "You asked that already."

His eyes darted toward her. "Is there someone here who might know where he is?"

She sighed. "No, he's out with my cousin, but they..." Her eyes darted to his wrist, where a bizarre tatoo marked the flesh. Feeling her stare, he pulled the sleeve of his sweater down to cover it. Peril didn't like this at all. Not one bit. "Look," she challenged, "You don't know Mulder at all. Do you?"

With the expression of a statue, the man simply stood and moved forward. "It's very unfortunate that you choose not to cooperate."

Peril stood her ground, though inwardly she trembled. "What do you mean?"

He reached out to her.

******

Worried and on the verge of panic, Mulder hurried up the steps and onto Grams' front porch. He'd scoured the park with no sign of Jamie. It reminded him of their university days. His lover couldn't stay in one spot, but now was definitely not the time for him to go wandering off. Mulder immediately thought that Jamie might have headed on over to his grandmother's.

Knocking on the door he sincerely hoped so. Getting no answer, Mulder tried the knob and found it open.

"Hello?" called Mulder. "Jamie? Is anyone home?" He walked out of the hall to be faced with the frightening sight of a dark figure struggling with Peril.

"Mulder!" Peril screamed, using his arrival as a distraction. She stamped her foot down, hard, on the instep of the man holding her wrists. He let out a howl and dropped her arms.

Mulder didn't stop to think. He whirled and planted his fist in the assailant's solar plexus. The intruder doubled over, knocking Peril to the floor in the process.

"Hey!" Mulder cried. He suddenly wished he was still Special Agent Fox Mulder, complete with regulation weapon, no assembly required.

Swiftly the man slipped out of the house. Mulder was already crossing to Peril's side. "Are you alright?" he asked, helping her up.

She held the side of her head and groaned. "Yeah..."

"Peril, who the hell was that?"

"He said..." She caught her breath. "That he was looking for you."

A chill of alarm hit Mulder. "And you just let him in?!"

Peril winced.

"Look, I'm sorry," he apologized. "Did he say who he was?"

"No. He was just very insistent about tracking you down." She gave him a hard stare. "Look, what's this all about? Has this got something to with Jamie's disappearance?"

Mulder couldn't hide the deep concern in his eyes. "I'm not sure," he admitted. He was pretty sure this was connected to Skinner's warning. It would be too big a coincidence otherwise.

"Then we have to call the police," Peril said, heading for the phone.

He quickly stopped her with a gentle hand. "No, Peril. Let's keep this quiet for now."

"What? Why?"

"First of all this will only upset Jamie, and secondly I seriously doubt he'll come back here again."

Peril exhaled. Cocking her head, she gave him a stern look. "Okay," she said, with reluctance. "If this is the kind of excitement that follows you around, no wonder Jamie's so crazy about you."

Mulder half grinned. "Trust me, Peril. I'm not going to let anything happen to Jamie. Where is he now?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

Mulder felt a tight fist close around his heart. He made a dash for the front door. "We were supposed to meet--"

It opened before he could reach it to reveal Jamie's beaming face. "Hi!"

"Jamie!" exclaimed Mulder, throwing his arms around his lover.

Hugging him back, Jamie gave him an incredulous look. "Um, what's going on?"

"Nothing," Mulder said, automatically. "I'm just so glad to see you."

Jamie stepped back and closed the door. "You're white as a sheet," he observed.

Mulder glanced at Peril and shuffled his feet a little. "Well, I was worried about you, that's all."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I ran into some old friends." Jamie walked into the living room. Before he could get very far, Fox draped an arm over his chest and pulled Jamie back against him.

"You mean everything to me," he whispered in Jamie's ear.

The fast and steady beat of Mulder's heart reverberated into his back. Jamie's eyes darted toward his cousin who looked a little shaken. He didn't need a sixth sense to tell him that something was definitely up. Before he could muse further, the back door opened and Grams walked in with an arm full of groceries.

"I hope ya'll are in the mood for shrimp," she called out cheerfully.

*****

Stuffed to the point of combustion, Mulder stood on the back porch gazing up at the night sky. He hadn't been able to take his eyes from Jamie during the entire meal, and his mind was troubled by the events that seemed to be running out of control around him.

A short burst of wind blew through the trees. He shivered and ran through the facts again. "Azathoth's bones were taken. A doctor from England has information about the coven who took them. A tap on Walter's phone which lead a skinhead from a fright festival here."

Mulder stopped and realized something. "Talking to yourself again, Mulder," he whispered. "The first sign of madness."

The creak of the screen door drew his attention. Jamie, having finished helping to clear the table and wash dishes, leaned against the frame gazing at him. "I think I've figured out your deep dark secret," he announced.

For a second, alarm filled Fox's eyes. "What?"

Jamie moved toward him and jutted out his chin. "You're a shrimp fetishist," he said, reaching up to wipe away excess cocktail sauce glistening on Mulder's cheek.

Mulder laughed nervously. 'Pull yourself together,' he thought, 'or Jamie's gonna realize something's not right.' He crushed Jamie to his chest and kissed him deeply.

"Who's up for dessert?" Peril asked from the doorway. She stopped and saw the couple, oblivious to the world, melting into one another. She sighed worriedly at Jamie. 'Mulder, I'm putting all my faith in you. Please don't let me down,' she wished. Clearing her throat, she cracked, "Get a room!"

Breaking the kiss, Jamie rested his head against Fox's heaving chest. Mulder swayed with Jamie in his arms. "Now there's an idea I could go for." He smiled.

*****

Mulder was in a brooding mood, Jamie decided. All through dinner both he and Peril had been sharing small conspiratorial glances. Climbing the Stella Maris staircase, Jamie could almost see the blizzard of thoughts behind Fox's eyes. He really wished he knew exactly what was troubling him.

'Okay, he's happy, he's in a good mood, just break it to him gently," Mulder attempted to persuade himself. >From the corner of his eye he looked over at Jamie as they emerged onto the floor of his suite. 'Maybe after we make love,' he added, giving himself a little more time. He just couldn't bring himself to tear down the safe little world Jamie had created for himself.

"Mulder, what's up?" Jamie asked, out of the blue.

"Huh? What?" he replied, acting confused, then he held his stomach. "Oh, I think you're right. I inhaled too much shrimp."

Jamie laughed...

'God, how I love his laugh!'

...and folded his arms. "I'm not surprised," he said, arching an eyebrow. "If I'd only known sooner just how much you can fit into that mouth."

Mulder chuckled, pausing to insert the key into the suite's door. "How about we find out?" he suggested, with a mischievious wink. He turned the handle, opened the door and all hell broke loose.

Blurred figures in black swarmed all over them. Mulder felt the breath knocked out of him as he was roughly slammed into the opposite wall. All three men were virtually identical: shaved heads, black sweaters and jeans, and all with the same fanatical gleam in their eyes. Mulder mentally dubbed them 'Omega,' 'Alpha' and 'Beta.'

Alpha grasped Jamie's arm and tried to force it behind his back. Jamie shouted, "Get off!" and lashed out with his other arm, knocking the man into a suite door. It was a move Jamie learned from the self-defense class he'd taken with Peril. His assailant crumpled like a broken doll.

Next to him, Fox was being overwhelmed by two more. Frustrated and angry, Jamie was ready to growl, grunt and fight with all his strength.

Mulder's eyes widened in surprise as Jamie ran forward, aiming a kick at Beta. He desperately tried to pry his arm loose from the muscular Omega. Looking startled, Beta unsheathed a dagger from the cuff of his jerkin.

"Jamie, look out!" warned Mulder.

The knife swung viciously through the air and hit the wall when Jamie neatly sidestepped the blow. Taking up a defensive stance, Jamie appeared behind him, ready to fight.

"Thanks, but I think we'll stick with regular room service," Jamie said, breathlessly.

Snarling, the crazed figure swung the dagger in an arc. Jamie quickly scrambled back, and caught his arm, pulling him around and slamming him into the wall. The man grunted in pain. Jamie pushed the knife up and out of his grasp.

At the same time, Mulder attempted a punch at Omega, but the man was prepared. Mulder struck out at the man's shaved head. Omega bore down and they both tumbled into a heap.

Hearing the scuffle Jamie ducked a swing to his head and swung back, but Beta grabbed his arm in mid-swing and flipped him over onto the floor. Jamie let out a pained breath. Beta reached down for him, but Jamie kicked out with both legs. Beta crashed backward.

The second floor of Stella Maris was in an uproar. Everyone seemed to be yelling and thumping things.

Mulder grunted and struggled against the vice-like grip preventing him from helping Jamie. Scrambling to his feet again, Jamie hurried forward and, with a roundhouse kick, sent the black-clad villain bearing down on Fox flying against the wall.

Mulder gaped at Jamie in astonished admiration.

The ones he'd designated as Beta and Alpha gathered themselves and took flight, leaving their fallen comrade behind. Forgetting them Jamie hurried forward to help Mulder up.

"Are you okay?" he asked, lifting him off the floor.

"Jamie!" he exclaimed in dreamy awe. "You've been holding out on me."

"What?"

"I've gotta tell you this side of you is very sexy!"

Jamie blushed and grinned from ear to ear. "Really?" >From the corner of his eye he saw the figure crumpled against the wall moving. "Oh! Oh!"

The man popped something small and white into his mouth. Before either Mulder or Jamie could react, he convulsed and lay still. They knelt by his side; Mulder slowly turned him over.

"What happened?" Jamie asked, horrified.

Pressing a finger to the stranger's lips, Mulder noted the sick discoloration. "Some sort of fast-acting poison, I'd guess," he said, taking a closer look. "This is the same man who attacked Peril," he murmured in a hushed voice.

"What?" Jamie pressed, not quite hearing him.

Mulder glanced up. "Nothing," he quickly said. Actually, he was more concerned than ever. He resolved himself to tell Jamie the truth now.

"Mulder, don't play G-Man! This is me you're talking to," an indignant Jamie replied. "Who are they? What do they want?"

"Jamie, there's something I have to tell you." Fox swallowed, hard, then continued softly. "It won't be easy for you to hear it, but--" He carefully rolled the body to the side to check for a wallet when an arm fell next to Jamie's legs. His eyes flashed down to an exposed wrist, on which was brandished a tatoo... a coiled snake, swallowing its own tail... the mark of Azathoth.

His nightmares were coming true before his eyes. Rising to his feet, Jamie shook his head. "No... Not again." He slowly backed away.

Taking in the symbol, Mulder hurried across to Jamie, who'd pressed himself into the far wall. "Jamie, listen to me," he began, firmly holding his arms and forcing Jamie to look at him. "Someone contacted Skinner, a doctor, from Great Britain... Azathoth's bones were removed from the Avatar site." Fox took a breath. "I saw him die... They were taken for a reason."

Exasperated, Jamie broke away from his grasp. "They're gonna brink him back. They're gonna bring Azathoth back," he groaned, staring at the corpse. Then, he turned accusing eyes toward Mulder. "And I seem to recall you telling me this was over."

Mulder took a step closer. "Jamie, I would've told you, but I--"

"Yeah, well thanks for the warning!" Cutting him off in a voice quivering with anger, Jamie stormed past the crowd of gathered onlookers and ran downstairs.

"Jamie!" Mulder called, but he was long gone. Sighing heavily, the former special agent barked at the crowd. "Call the police," he intructed, then set off after Jamie.

Taking the wide stairs two at a time, Mulder caught a glimpse of him throwing open the hotel's main doors and stalking out into the night. "Jamie!" He slipped through the closing doors and caught Jamie's arm on the lamplit sidewalk. "Jamie, would you stop running away from me for one second and let me explain?"

He winced as his lover turned eyes filled with hurt, confusion and anger toward him.

"No, I can't keep doing this!" Jamie cried, then softened his tone. "Fox, I love you and I don't want to ever be without you, but I can't keep putting the people I love in danger." With determination, he added, "This is my fight."

"Don't you think I'm scared, too?" Mulder reached out and held his hands, grateful that Jamie didn't shy away. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to be upset." He sighed, running a hand nervously through his dark hair.

"I know that," Jamie replied, sadly, "but you can't not tell me things because you think it might hurt."

Fox nodded and stared at the ground. "You're right, I'm sorry." He looked up at him with a little pout. "Forgive me?"

Jamie didn't answer for a moment. His face twitched as he tried to hold onto his anger, but as he stared into those warm hazel eyes he felt it slipping away. "I'll think about it," he finally said, wearing a small grin.

After a couple of heartbeats, Mulder pulled his lover against him. Mulder wrapped his arms around him and Jamie settled into his embrace.

"It's never going to be over, is it?" Jamie wondered. "I mean why do I keep trying? Am I just a glutton for punishment?"

Fox hugged him even tighter. "No, you keep trying because you never give up hope." He pressed a kiss to Jamie's forehead. "That's just one of the things I love about you. You never gave up on us."

"Hmm," Jamie sighed, drinking in his warmth. "So what are we going to do?"

"What we're going to do is fight this," Mulder told him, with determination. "I refuse to believe that anything can come between us again."

"You know what?" Jamie questioned. "I wish that the world would stop spinning long enough for me to catch my breath."

Mulder caressed his back. "Remember the first time we kissed? How scared I was back then to take the risk of falling in love?"

Jamie nodded, swallowing incoming tears.

"Life is full of risks," Fox continued. "This is just another we have to take together."

In the distance the wailing of a police siren became louder as it approached.

*****

A pyre flickered and spit in the center of a holy chamber. The light reached for the towering ceiling and reflected the intricate stained glass images along the walls. Incense hung thick in the air, wafting between two tall black candles. Illuminated by the fast-shifting flames were five black robed figures. They moved in a continuous circle, chanting low.

Another figure, distinguishable among the others, appeared and stood before the stone obelisk which served as an altar. His dark eyes surveyed the bones of Azathoth arranged before him. He had been present at the excavation of the Great Old One and would soon be responisble for the ultimate honor of resurrection.

He moved to a small wooden block atop which rested ritualistic artefacts. Plucking up a black-handled knife and a thick velvet cord, the figure broke the magic circle and stood before the fire. The circle regrouped to form around him. Offering the knife to the sky, the sleeves of the ebony cloak fell back to expose aged arms. An incantation began.

"Witness the rites of Dathomir and guard this sacred circle. I speak with the voice of one born amongst the stars. And upon this Earth death will reign."

He grew silent, then addressed the faithful assembled.

"The way was lost but the key to our path has been found. Within five days he will be brought to us. We will rejoice when he bleeds!"

From within the folds of his cloak, a photograph of a strikingly handsome man appeared. As it floated down into the flames, the coven increased their circular dance and their chanting surged to a crescendo. The last trace of the picture was consumed and a fierce cold filled the chamber.

[Next Episode: Mad Dogs And Englishmen]

  
Archived: January 11, 2002 


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